Where to begin.....

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Gervin44, Sep 3, 2021.

  1. Gervin44

    Gervin44 Fapstronaut

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    I am 58, and really am tired of this addiction. A few years ago, I quit looking at Porn for about 7 months. Did I feel any different? Of course, there is self-satisfaction, no pun intended. Not sure what caused me to begin again, but there is a lot to unfold, personally and my married life of 35 years with 3 children and now two grandkids. I suppose it's like drug or alcohol addiction, in that I must refrain 1 day at a time. Can't divulge to much as to whom I am, but after a long career, I started new career that took me away from the wife and kids. I was still in al their lives, I moved more than I wanted and only a few times could the be a part of it. Fast forward 10 years, and I am now home due to COVID-19 remote work, but think those habits REALLY contributed to whom I am today. I fee no self-worth in my life, other than being a provider. I don't have any friends, and other than the occasional golf outing, I stay home. I was so active in my younger days, great shape and played many days of sports. Of course, life changes when you have kids, etc. but I try to do my best walking, LOTS of housework, and working fulltime has really no self reward other than providing support for my loved ones. I hope this is the place to not just help me with my addiction, but will help me have a better outlook on my relationships, as few as they are.
     
  2. Dares Greeneye

    Dares Greeneye Fapstronaut

    Hey Gervin, welcome to NoFap! :emoji_hand_splayed::emoji_slight_smile:
    Lockdowns has changed the ways of how things used to be for many, and PMO addiction is definitely a factor that's influencing people's lives when it comes to being isolated 24/7 (except for going shopping and other ordinary stuff). So you're not alone! In fact I've read somewhere an article that big P sites recorder more than 30% increase of visits and views in 2020, and even when one has contributed to this, it's a good sign when they acknowledge that and recognise how much it affects their daily lives.
    From your post you seem to me like a very caring person and you can definitely free yourself from the burden of PMO for yourself and the ones who you love so much.
    I've also wanted to suggest an idea for you of creating your own journal; seeing as you're being quite busy maybe you wont be able to be as active on a forum, but updating it once in a while with some observations, progress and goals is helpful for some members of this community.

    Either way, I wish you the best in your endeavour towards freedom! :emoji_v::emoji_relieved:
     
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  3. Sam I Ammm

    Sam I Ammm Fapstronaut

    Like you ask, where to begin? You mention a bunch of things. Pick something and start. Change your life one step at a time. You hate what pork has done so you’re here. Great! Friends are so important so that might be a good place to invest. Let us know how it goes!
     
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  4. Gervin44

    Gervin44 Fapstronaut

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    thanks :)
     
  5. Gervin44

    Gervin44 Fapstronaut

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    So it's been over 10 days with NO PORN. After reading a few stories and articles here on NoFap, I need to share more. So here we go. My relationship with my wife of over 35 years is of course strained because of this and many other things going on in our lives. We have really lost communicating together, and if we do speak it mostly turns in to arguments. I let things go, let things she does go because its a no win situation. Very little empathy or any type of anything from her. I was trying to think of a time she kissed me, etc. and man its been a while. So I know my addiction has caused some of this, but to be honest, never been one to share those type of emotions with me. I let things happen earlier in our marriage that, well I know have bothered me to this date. She never says sorry, just don't feel that type of connection with her anymore. Like I said I have a lot of stress, I work full time from home, but yet I find myself doing most of the housework, taking care of pet, just I am the one who does ALOT. I am tired of being this person, it's not fair.
     
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  6. Amazing. Brilliant share. Really enjoyed your story there Gervin. not that I get off on others pains, but I do enjoy honest insight. Feel you with the not many friends part, though for me it's a mix of it being out of choice and the fact that this problem played a huge part behind it too.

    Anyway, welcome to the community and enjoy the crazy array of support that's available. Maybe you'd benefit from joining a drop-in group? It's not for everyone, but it can be really helpful and grounding, even.

    Anyway, hope to bump into you again sometime.
     
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  7. Gervin44

    Gervin44 Fapstronaut

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    thanks....
     
  8. Gervin44

    Gervin44 Fapstronaut

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    Well tonight was a bad night, big fight, many things said, many truths I need to grasp, they just continue to allude my efforts. Man this has been so heart wrenching, disappointment in myself, no self-control. So damn angry!
     

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