Whew, okay... I'm scared. A lot... Okay maybe not a lot.

Hey, everyone who is a potential reader of my newbie post. First off, i'm sitting in a very dark room, the only thing I can hear is the fan whirring, but i'll do my best.

Hello! I'm a 17 year old male who is currently struggling very heavily in his relationship due to my addiction to looking at sexual pictures either on my phone or computer. My girlfriend, for nearly two years now, has been under severe self-conscious problems due to me looking at sexualized pictures of women (or anime/video game characters). It is usually 2-3 times a week, and I won't lie, I am very ashamed that the number isn't zero times a year. While some people may not call that an addiction, it certainly is a problem for me. I want to be able to enjoy my girlfriend's body completely and solely. I also have a lot of anger and argument problems which I believe are due to this addiction. I have also come, to my bitter sadness, to be desensitized to my girlfriend's appearance. This, I believe, is why I recently started to look at pictures more. I want to be able to appreciate her, not be bored by her. I don't know how difficult this will be for me, and I'm honestly scared that I will reset a lot. I am determined though!

I have been contemplating two similar goals:

Hard Mode: This one I believe might be the best for me, considering that it is very set and I am a lot better at following other people's rules rather than my own.

(My version) Extreme Mode: Not only would I not be allowed to look at P, M, or O at all, but I also wouldn't be allowed to see my girlfriend in anything less than a t-shirt and shorts. I believe this would help in order to regain my love for her body. If anyone has any know-how as to something else, input is very appreciated.

Otherwise, I was thinking for a journal, I would do a video journal. Has this been done before? Is it at all normal? It would be sort of like a Vlog. I was thinking even after finishing my goal that I could keep it updated. If this doesn't sound like a good idea, or you have other ideas, please share!

I think that's all, other than that I was planning on getting a liability partner, as I believe it would help me a lot in keeping on route to victory!

Thanks for reading! Hope to enjoy this community for as long as I can!

 

I'm not 100% sure it will work. Most of it is just experimental for me. I am hoping it does what I intend it to do. However, if it doesn't work out, then I don't think the results will be costly.