Why am I afraid of sex? PLS HELP

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Bharry, Apr 11, 2019.

  1. Bharry

    Bharry Fapstronaut

    I'm on a 25 streak of no PMO, and lately I've been noticing some improvements in everything for sure. In particular, I must say that I feel like I have more girls around me and that's kinda Cool but I have One big problem : i'm afraid of any sexual behaviour of them. I mean, Even though I wuold like to have sex with some girls I Met, although I could have the oppurtunity to reach that goal, I am really afraid when She kinda gets to the point or Even when she's being sexual or kind of touch me or something. I Once denied 100% sure sex even though I wuold have loved to do it. I don't know why my friends don't panic at all when It comes to be sexual but I do.
    Has anyone of you guys have/had that problem? I Hope you can help me out cause I'm suffering this a lot.
    Sorry for my english, i'm italian and I'm trying to do my best.
    God bless, wish you the best.
    Nugget9 and Kiz Whalifa like this.
  2. Kiz Whalifa

    Kiz Whalifa Fapstronaut

    Tell us more. I understand it, but it's still kinda vague...
  3. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    If it happens to me someday, I will probably react the same way.
  4. Practice will get u rid of these feelings.

    Remember when u stood on a cliff being affraid to jump 2 the water? Than u jump and want to immediately do it again..

    Next day u come to cliff and are scared again, just not so much..

    10th time u come there and jump.

    20th time u pick a bigger cliff.

    This is the same
    Zimzi and Nugget9 like this.
  5. Veronique89

    Veronique89 New Fapstronaut

    Your story makes me think of an ex boyfriend. He had kind of the same situation.
    What exactly holds you back?
    If you have not so many experience with woman you might want to start booking escorts to learn the basic steps. I know it's kind of strange, but I am just trying to help.
    Pati_ryu and Renan_Finn like this.
  6. Forget about escorts dude, thats the worse advice u can get. U need a stable loving and patient partner!!!
    Nugget9 likes this.
  7. I've felt much the same way most of my life. It's fear of failure and it's totally normal. You say your friends don't have this problem either, but I'm willing to bet that they've felt nervous or self-conscious before, too.

    What's the solution? Just be honest with your partner. Most women are kind and caring and if you tell them you're feeling nervous they will more than likely try to calm you down. Remember, you're in this situation because they want to have sex with you as well.

    I think ditching the porn will help you with this over time as well. You don't have to "measure" up to what you see on screen -- just be attentive, caring, and kind.
    Bharry and Nugget9 like this.
  8. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

    Not sure about you but i can understand being afraid, being afraid you might mess up or not do a good job and leave her unsatisfied, honestly sex takes time and practice, you will always feel scared at first.
  9. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    I think you are not used to flirt and have sex, and all of that stuff maybe gives you anxiety

    Do it a few times, give you time to adapt

    hardowner likes this.
  10. Renan_Finn

    Renan_Finn Fapstronaut

    I know more or less how it is, because I'm kinda afraid, trying to avoid a bit, for some very dumb things, like leave her unsatisfied and some other stuff...I know it's silliness and I try to forget it, no reason for that, maybe you could get some help or follow the steps left by the people.
  11. Bharry

    Bharry Fapstronaut

    I’ll try to give you some informations : I’ve already been with escorts, but the first time it was just for fun and I did it because I wanted to know how that experience would have felt. The day after I felt so shit, but once I did it againi felt less shittier. Nowadays I am at day 29 or something and I am really struggling for sex and I’m thinking to do it again but I actually don’t know if it’s an healthy way. (Also I’m still studying and My money is from my parents, so spending their money like that would make me feel shit cause they’re not mine)
    About pick up: I’m joining another community that would help me to get better skills with women and Hopefully to get more opportunities in life.
    Even though most of my friends (female) tell me I am handsome (not trying to flex) I still don’t know why I can’t get any. That really pisses me of cause I have several friends of mine that are really f. Horrible but still manage to.
    Another thing: cultural aspect of the women’s vision in Italy. Yo guys, It is actually really fucking hard to get laid here, because unfortunately women are seen by society as whore if they spend time in free sex, so with that being sad, I had more success going abroad while living here in Italy since I was born.
  12. Bharry

    Bharry Fapstronaut

    You are right guys, I’m not that used to sex (apart from escorts, I only did it one time, because another one was only “halfway” job).
    I repeat that the only thing that pisses me off is that I’m 22 years old and I must wake up before I lose the best time of my life. Not only in relationships, sex but also in general productivity. Must be better at university, must gain my abs back, what the f is wrong with my mind
  13. Try to stop overthinking and focus on doing things that make you happy. I know it's not easy, but it's all you can do really.
    Bharry likes this.

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