Why do some people keep reinforcing that porn is not bad?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ahighertruth, Jul 28, 2020.

  1. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    You'd better see this video.
     
  2. mr.incognito

    mr.incognito Fapstronaut

    There was a political "sexual revolution" that normalized both porn and masturbation, that took off in the 70s. People who are pro porn and pro masturbation are toeing that party line. Nofap itself, as I just realized today, is actually part of that culture, as it is actually pro masturbation, just anti porn, because porn is considered misogynistic. So according to nofap, almost everyone here is actually a recovering misogynist.
    Are people really addicted to porn? I don't think so. They are addicted to the masturbation, which is a type of sex addiction, the porn is just a tool for masturbating with. It's the masturbation that is harmful, the porn exacerbates it. I'm anti porn and anti masturbation - just to make that clear.

    There's some research now that pot can be harmful. It's better now. When I was a kid there was actually none, everyone said it was a wonder herb that's totally harmless - no such thing. I don't know if they still refuse to call it a drug, they used to say 'herb' to get around it's classification as an illegal drug, maybe they still call it that, I don't care. Cocaine is made from a plant, but I never heard a similar argument for it when I was a teen, maybe there's some lame technicality for why that is - I'm not interested in hearing it though. If it fucks you up it's a drug for all intents and purposes.
     
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  3. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Porn is bad in any respect. It's only about the outside, not about real connection. It shows that sex is about performing not about love. It gives the impression it's okay to focus on the body only, not on the spirit. It's against our true nature, it's against everything that makes us human.
    Masturbation can be done very mindfully, connecting with the energy in the whole body. It can heal old wounds. If done with a soft touch and in a gentle way, it is a loving experience.
    Addiction is a pathway problem, as the YBOP videos show. Abstaining from PMO is just a temporary measure to clear the old pathways that were formed by the combination of watching P, hard M to achieve O. Clearing these pathways we can start living without P and with any sexual activity that is connecting and loving with ourselves, our bodies and our loved ones.
    For me MO may be part of that sexual activity, but only as a free choice, not as a compulsive part of my past. If it makes me truly happy, I know I'm at the right track. That is the difference with the old habit.
     
  4. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Anatomy & physiology teacher, and author of "Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction", explains the evolutionary forces behind porn's appeal, how the brain changes in response to supernormal stimulation, and what makes today's Internet porn different from static porn of the past.

    He is not qualified at all to talk on the topic of addiction. "Evolutionary forces", "supernormal stimulations" - Sorry, that's just peptalk.

    "Clearing those pathways" is of the same medical credibility as "adjusting your spiritual frequency to the wavelength of the universe". You are talking about abstaining from "PMO" as if this "PMO" is actually an established thing. It is not. It's cult lingo only insiders understand.

    Addiction is well researched and you should ask a psychiatrist or psychotherapist qualified in treating addiction and obsessive-compulsive behavior (like masturbation) before repeating some self-appointed Guru.

    What's even more amusing is, that people on this forum ask for advice how they can avoid replacing porn with porn substitutes. Why? I mean if you replaced alcohol with alcohol substitutes, you reached your goal! You're now free from alcohol, because you successfully substituted it! In the end it's not about the stimulus at all, it's about adhering to the rituals imposed by supernatural beliefs in "spiritual pathways".
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
  5. mouton1998

    mouton1998 Fapstronaut

    Mine is a personal opinion, so you are free to accept it, reject it and discuss it.

    Many people who make articles, blogs and other media related to porn take for granted something that, for NoFap users is not, that is the question of self-control over their sexual impulses.

    Almost all of the people external to NoFap don't realize how difficult it is, for NoFap users like us, to keep a balanced relationship between time spent on porn and time spent on all other daily activities: they don't know what it means to have to fight against edging, not they know what it's like to see their life drained in front of a screen because of the lack of control over PMO. They don't know, because they simply don't have all these problems that we NoFap users face every day.
    In my opinion, it is the question of self-control that leads them to diminish this community; moreover the fact that there are some slightly outdated concepts of neroscience, some pseudo-scientific theories and some incels and patently misogynist users certainly does not help to improve the presentation of NoFap for external web users.

    One more thing: the "porn addiction", as we call, is still largely unexplored for now there are no universal criteria and unanimously accepted by the world community of psychologists to describe it, just as there is not even enough 100% certain evidence to prove its existence (understood as real addiction). In my opinion it is only a matter of time: in a few years the conception that even online porn can be pathological and linked to a drug will become a reality also in the scientific world; TV, newspapers and all other mass media will start talking about it and most porn consumers will reverse their opinion on their habits.

    Sorry for my bad English.
     
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  6. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Sex addicts naturally struggle with that.

    "PMO" is not a scientific or medical term. That's where the credibility problem starts.

    "Watching porn is misogynist" is a typical sex-negative feminist position. That's actually not, what makes NoFap a joke in the view of the mainstream. It's all the talk about "rebooting neural pathways", "superpowers" and all kind of esoteric hogwash.

    This is because it doesn't exist. People on this forum start with "porn addiction", then they escalate to "porn substitutes addiction", then they want stop "Facebook/Instagram/YouTube/Video Games addiction". The reason is that they feel a psychological strain due to sex addiction, but quitting porn doesn't do anything for them, so they desperately try to quit everything else as well, because they believe in "rebooting neural pathways" by changing their screen content.

    "In a few years" was already a decade ago and did never happen.
     
  7. idonthaveaname

    idonthaveaname Fapstronaut

    I'm just giving my opinion on the matter. Put simply, we feel like it's easier to watch porn than to not watch porn once addicted. So, instead of taking an effort to quit, it's a lot easier to just say that porn is OK. If something like NoFap comes along and makes a point saying that porn is bad, it's easier for the porn addict to say "NoFap is a hoax" than to actually quit. When they get information about the bad effects of porn, they dismiss it because they don't want to accept what they're doing is bad for them. Why porn addiction isn't taken seriously enough is because, unlike drugs, porn won't kill you. It can make you miserable but it won't give you bronchitis. Unfortunately, today porn is normal and that's what's ingrained in the minds of millions. Facts cannot always start a revolution. If porn ever will be considered to be bad like cocaine, it won't be anytime soon. It's hard to change everyone's opinions. NoFap isn't taken seriously by many because a lot of people (some even on this website) see NoFap as 'just a challenge.' Social media has popularized No Nut November. While it may be good not to nut for a month, social media has also popularized Destroy Dick December. Simply put people just don't want to change just as the alcoholic doesn't want to stop drinking.
     
  8. Di.Do.555

    Di.Do.555 Fapstronaut

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    There are billions of dollars invested each year just to keep you dumb and clueless.
     
  9. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    That "just a challenge" is the official stance of NoFap(R): Just start reading the official description for the forum you just posted in:

    "Rebooting involves abstaining from porn, sex, and masturbation - for a period of time. Often for a month to 90 days or longer"

    That's why I am not doing this "challenge".
     
  10. idonthaveaname

    idonthaveaname Fapstronaut

    So rebooting and quitting for good are different. I really should have read that stuff more carefully. So even NoFap is calling itself a challenge. That just makes things worse.
    I agree with you. I guess I'm not rebooting after all. I'm quitting for life.
     
  11. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Excellent attitude! Have a look at my forum signature as well.
     
  12. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    I'm glad to hear an expert talk about his expert knowledge. Congrats on your expertise.
     
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  13. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    You tried an appeal to authority, but this guy isn't an authority just because he got to speak on a TED event and wrote a book or two. I don't need to be an authority or expert on addiction to point that out.
     
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  14. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Well, just in case you're interested, his videos are based on an enormous amount of research literature. You can read about it on his site www.yourbrainonporn.com. The knowledge is coming from his wife who is a scientist specialized in this field.
     
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2020
    Psalm27:1my light likes this.
  15. mr.incognito

    mr.incognito Fapstronaut

    Porn is bad because it's fake. It is a simulated experience that is substituted for the real thing.
    For straight males sex is primarily about the outside, because the primary consideration for us is that our partner is female. Sex only becomes a problem when it is an addictive behaviour, but most men can't become addicted to real sex because we can't attract enough females, but we would have if we had been put into the position to attain it i.e. money, power, and fame.

    This statement does not apply to straight males. It's actually terrible advice for us. But if you are asexual or something else then that's your thing I guess.
     
  16. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Why are you constantly trying to plug this website? I've read it six years ago. I debunked it after doing my research and by personal experience.
     
  17. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Though the brain can differentiate between that and the real thing, otherwise we wouldn't be able to choose different actions based on content seen on a screen and real flesh and blood.

    A sex addiction can be fed in different ways: You can get addicted by masturbation and then choose to feed it a different way collecting "notches" as a "pickup artist" for example. It's like switching from whiskey to beer.
     
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  18. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Why not? It's content is convincing to me and fits with my experience.
     
  19. StarRider

    StarRider Fapstronaut

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    Yet "convincing" doesn't mean "right". The thing you need to understand, is that my experience debunked the claims completely - both ways, including cross-checks. And that's why it doesn't get traction anywhere. Just as you could plug Tantra, Dao and Chi and I wouldn't believe that, too. Your first thread on this forum is called "Rebooting". I don't believe in those made-up concepts of "rebooting" and "rewiring" (anymore).

    I'm simply not into hocus-pocus.
     
  20. LoveIsAllWeNeed

    LoveIsAllWeNeed Fapstronaut

    Just because you say you debunked it, doesn't mean that you actually did. My experience is completely in line with the YBOP video and I'm not into Hocus-Pocus either.
     
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