Why Do We Fail? Why Do We Succeed?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by SolidStance, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. The purpose of the question is to invoke thought.

    We fail at this addiction for a few reasons. One being that the addiction is a secret one. We have the opportunity to bring it wherever we go. Normally with an addiction, drugs for example, one has to actually leave their residence and purchase something in order to get high. With pornography it’s at our fingertips all day and night. That’s also why I feel that this addiction is one of the most difficult kinds.

    I can remember when I came clean to my brothers. I explained everything and they were compassionate, accepting and understanding. Of course they were, they had also suffered similar issues. Coming clean was one of the first steps I took to recovery. But in the end no one else can stop you, it must come from inside you.

    The other reason we succumb to this weakness is self esteem. We don’t hold ourselves highly enough to think that we deserve better. In a sense, the overwhelming number of youth thinking that PMO is normal probably have low self-esteem. “I’m just me, who cares?” “What does it matter if I run myself down to the lowest depths of thinking and feeling, I’m not important.” These are thoughts I have had and I believed them deeply. It wasn’t for a long time that I realized my addiction affected everyone I interacted with. I was curt, sharp-tongued, argumentative; a downright asshole. Excessive PMO made me feel low because that’s exactly what it does; that’s the normal side effect. Which leads to why we succeed.

    Holding yourself in a higher light is powerful. But it takes awareness. We must experience enough of the pain before we understand who we really are—which is pure energy, pure light. When we realize how great each of us really is, we can start to take responsibility for our actions. We can see how our actions affect those around us because everyone looks up to us in one way or another, it’s true. Some look up to us for our humor, some see us with a strong work ethic and wonder how to pick up on that, or others may re-enact our demeanor when we are at our best.

    At our best we are unstoppable. When we stay focused and attain right living, right thought and right action, we become what most would define as noble and courageous. We actually defy what culture is telling us is normal. In a way we are stubborn, saying no to the norm, but those wallowing in the norm see us and wonder how we do it, just like we wondered how our role models did it.

    Become your own role model. Become something great, it’s really not that hard to do. Once you understand that greatness is your natural state, all that’s left to do is act on it. Claim whats rightfully yours.
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2016
  2. chaoyiyun

    chaoyiyun Fapstronaut

    SolidStance likes this.
  3. Jodokus

    Jodokus Fapstronaut

    I like that :)
    It's true, we can be our own role models, since the self is much wiser, stronger and more beautiful than our common thoughts, words, acting.
    At least I believe that.
    AaronR, Cooldude4 and SolidStance like this.
  4. Handzfree

    Handzfree Distinguished Fapstronaut

    Awesome Post SS... If we truly did what we are capable of, we would completely freak ourselves out. The only person every holding us back is the one in the mirror.

    Phibz and SolidStance like this.
  5. wally_s

    wally_s Fapstronaut

    SolidStance likes this.
  6. Exactly.
  7. Dude you should have your own blog with all these monster posts.

    Granted they need to be read by the eyes peering into screens from their little dark holes of suffering on this forum. These posts are a light in the dark so to speak. Keep that torch burning bright.

    Keep them coming.
    SolidStance likes this.
  8. Man thats nice of you to say. Most of the time I write after my daily meditation.
  9. black_coyote

    black_coyote Fapstronaut

    The first step to leading a wholesome life is understanding our self, getting in harmony with our body and soul...when I was living a miserable life, addicted to PMO failing again and falling deeper and deeper into this shit, helpless...I was just so shut off from the ''self" and but for Nofap, I seriously would have been rotting, getting nowhere in life...

    I acknowledge the power of self resolve, determination and consciousness, but I cannot say that without Nofap and this supportive community, I could've managed to tackle my addiction...we all need support to reach a particular level of balance.

    I feel that people healing from this addiction have rose from levels of minuses to level zero, the platform...the most awesome trajectory from which we can chart our course of life !!

    Thanks for the wonderful post ss
    So yes!!
    SolidStance likes this.
  10. WholeHeartedly

    WholeHeartedly Fapstronaut

    Thank you for this. I have very low self esteem and self worth. I know this is a major issue for me.
    SolidStance likes this.
  11. recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

    I think of it as hide and seek addiction. When i was a kid i enjoyed to play hide n seek n looked forward to it. I didnt stop playing the game cause someone told me it's bad. but i got out of it cause i got bored of it. there were better games to look forward to, better for my age.

    hide and seek--->cricket/badminton/football--->bicycle ride n going out with friends--->move from college friends to work place friends--->replace hanging out with friends with hanging out with partner--->the flirting and jokes get replaced with serious talk and activities done together--->sex n live-in

    in all cases the reason we move to the other act is cause we find it more fun that the earlier. similarly i guess instead of fighting nofap we must find something better than it.

    the problem is it's not easy to find that better. and thus we fail. most of the time we do fap cause we dont have anything better to do.

    I think it's not all about will power. It's also about external environment. like i was about to visit a prostitute, but i posted the thread here and got wise advice. had i not posted here or didnt have internet things could've gone the other way.

    i guess i went a bit off topic:oops:
    SolidStance likes this.
  12. Well said Brother. This community was the answer to my question "what do I need to get this damn thing done already?"
    black_coyote likes this.
  13. I hope you have come to realize that the way people see you is built around a false concept. You are Master. You are everything. All potential of everything is within you, right now.
  14. No, this is good. You stayed right into it and went deeper. Thank you.

    What strikes me when you say its not all about willpower, is that I have found that willpower, energy and awareness are the same thing. So, that means if we believe like I do, that we are souls, that we are pure energy, then we are also pure willpower and awareness. In a sense everything is us then, and everything is energy, willpower or awareness. To believe that takes some seeking into Hindu mysticism though.

    On another note, everything outside of us is usually created by our own doing. Have you ever experienced something when you weren't there? Did you ever not put yourself somewhere? To post here took your energy, awareness and willpower, didnt it? You made the choice to stop and try something else, your willpower, or you, did it. You did it. You altered your future by making a decision. Most of the time we choose what happens to us, no one else.
    Deleted Account and recoome like this.
  15. Thanks for reading and giving feedback Brother.
  16. Edited to reflect the chapter in the manual
  17. jad848484

    jad848484 Fapstronaut

    Good post mate. I can relate, especially to the first couple of paragraphs. This reminds me why I'm here & why it is important to keep fighting. Becoming a light for others or role model has it's own appeal!
    SolidStance likes this.

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