Why I cannot resist?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by fracar, Nov 1, 2016.

  1. fracar

    fracar Fapstronaut

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    I had a great period without PMO from the 21th of September to the 10th of October (20 days). Then I relapsed but immediately restarted the rebooting. That one lasted 8 days. Another relapse (I masturbated and watched porn for 3 days). The last clean period finished yesterday, after 6 days. I think I'm going back into my bad habits. I am so depressed about this. I made progresses, but now... As soon as I see a picture of a girl on the social media, even by chance, I can't resist and I end up masturbating and watching porn. All this is so demotivating. I want to quit all this, I know I want it, but my brain is tempting me so much. I don't know how to get back on the right track. It is so difficult lately. When it occurs, I am not able to resist it!!! It is so annoying! I know many of you understand what I feel. How do you manage to make the drive pass?
     
  2. ThisGuy!

    ThisGuy! Guest

    People always say that quitting smoking is hard, and mentally it can be excruciating, because smokers have conditioned themselves to believe that they cannot go an hour, let alone a day without a cigarette. Research has proven that nicotine withdrawal is no worse than caffeine withdrawals, so then everything else is created in the smokers mind. And nobody forces smokers to buy cigarettes, they do it at their own accord. Nobody makes you or I PMO, we choose to do it on our own accord. When you say something like "I am not able to resist it" you are saying that you are not in control of what you are doing, and you know as well as I do that you are in complete control, even if it doesn't seem that way. When you say you are helpless, you are giving up your control. I know this might not be motivating, but I want you to understand how damaging it is to tell yourself something like that. You control your PMO, not the other way around. Making excuses makes the process impossible. I know this because I have made excuses for years. I made excuses why I couldn't give up my cannabis addiction, even telling myself that it was helping me, or that I needed it. I made excuses for why I couldn't stop smoking cigarettes ("im too stressed" or "I'll do it when im ready" or "Ill quit next week" etc). When I first discovered NoFap I made it 31 days without PMO before relapsing, only to find myself making excuses for the past 9 months, all of which were bullshit. Unless you are PMOing in your sleep, then there is no reason that you are "not able to resist". You are not alone in this battle. I found it helped me to write a journal, I plan to restart after a couple weeks being PMO free. Just remember, you are doing this for life, your not trying to see how long you can go without PMO, with that mindset you will be doomed to fail. I know you can do this. Best wishes.
     
  3. DemonSemen

    DemonSemen Fapstronaut

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    Get off social media if it's triggering. Simple as that. Tell your friends/followers/subscribers "Hey I'm taking a few months off social media to do some other stuff."

    The world will not end without FB, Snapchat, et al. You can call or text your friends.

    Don't beat yourself up but don't do the same shit over and over expecting a different result. Heal thyself and enjoy the bounty of real booty.
     
    fracar likes this.
  4. fracar

    fracar Fapstronaut

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    You're right. I'm finding excuses. And yes, because of you I also understood that in all these days I wasn't really rebooting for life, but just in order to see how long I could resist. Thank you very much, you helped me to see my situation more clearly. Best wishes to you,too.
     
    Headspace likes this.
  5. Jarin

    Jarin Fapstronaut

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    I have a really bad temper. When I was young if I lost my temper I would occasionally get in fights and hurt people. I got suspended from school a few times. Eventually I learned to control my temper by imagining that I had a switch in my mind. If I felt myself getting angry I could just hit the switch and cut myself off from my anger. Eventually it because such an automatic reflex that I just don't get angry anymore. I have been trying to do the same thing with my desire to PMO. When I feel it coming on I just mentally try to wall myself off from it. I don't think about, I don't look at it, I pretend that my desire is this raging storm that cant reach me because I am safe and secure inside my house. The hardest part is breaking myself of the habit to immediately give in to it as soon as I feel the desire to PMO.

    To simplify I think the fist step is to try to train yourself to immediately fight the desire as soon as you notice it. Do it enough times and it will become a habit. You have spent your entire life giving in so it might take some work. But once you start to gain control your willpower will grow, just don't give up. Remind yourself that your in control not your addiction.
     
    fracar, DemonSemen and A Batman like this.
  6. A porn addict can choose to watch porn. But, if a porn addict chooses to watch porn, the dopamine high they get is automatic, cause and effect. You have to avoid the dopamine rush to reboot, so, you are going to have to choose not to watch porn, and mean it.
     
    fracar likes this.
  7. fracar

    fracar Fapstronaut

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    It's a good method! I will keep it in mind, thank you
     
  8. Chadillac Van Button

    Chadillac Van Button Fapstronaut

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    I can definitely account for this. I myself was a smoker for 3 years. And I am glad it was only for that long. I had a little help along the way. Before I quit nicotine all together, I was into vaping for a little over a year, which if I hadn't, I don't think I would have been able to quit. When I did decide to quite nicotine all together, the vaping allowed me to continue my habit without getting the nicotine (some vape shops will sell ejuices without nicotine in them). Eventually, I got to the point where a) It felt stupid and pointless inhaling a bunch of vapors that had no effect and b) I wanted to save money because I work part time and go to school. The whole point of this story is that you can't just quite cold turkey. Addiction most definitely is a psychological issue. If it wasn't, it wouldn't be this difficult to overcome. What will help you along the way is finding sytems/methods that will work best for you in forming new, healthier habits.

     
  9. TheDarkNite

    TheDarkNite Fapstronaut

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    Stay of the sites that trigger you. Plan ahead and don't isolate yourself. Keep it up you can do it.
     
  10. Buggery

    Buggery Fapstronaut

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    Quitting porn or masterbating is the hardest addiction to overcome in my opinion. To true addicts like myself it can be nothing more then walking behind a female wearing tight jeans or a pose in a magazine and my recovery ends finding me alone with my eyes closed edging until I orgasam.....you need as much support as you can get from all of us who struggle like you
     
    fracar likes this.
  11. TheDarkNite

    TheDarkNite Fapstronaut

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    If you see something that stimulates you even if it's a real person. Turn your head, close your eyes, or turn around. Force yourself to think about something else. The more you do it the easier it becomes.
     
  12. zx125

    zx125 Fapstronaut

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    Maybe a starting point could be to admit that M'ing does feel good. It des actually feel good to do it, but just because it feels good it doesn't mean you have to do it. Also distract yourself and make a list of the reasons that you want to stop. Saying that you cant stop gives more power to it. Use positive affirmations, and tell yourself that you are stronger than it.
     

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