Why is that I know the negatives of P but continue to relapse?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by QuiggyG, Aug 10, 2020.

  1. QuiggyG

    QuiggyG Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys,


    So i've been in NoFap for atleast over 6 months now. I have constantly battled the addiction of PMO, the escalation into trans/gay/sissy content and other sexual compulsive issues such as objectifcation, dopamine addiction, OCD etc. I've pretty much overcome the trans/gay issues (still get a bit of crossdressing vibes now and then but it's just the OCD) yet I still have the issue of relapsing.

    So I have constantly tried rebooting (longest I've lasted is 13 days) and I am continually falling back into the cycle, despite not wanting to PMO at all. I have learnt that the P industry is severely disordered, feeds on abuse, exploitation, non consentual situations and artificial sexual expectations. Having this knowledge helps preventing me from watching P or relapsing most of the time, but I still can never get past a couple of days to 13 days. I understand there might be a brain "wired" process that my mind is still used to, but I am unsure. I should also mention that maybe having this knowledge might be the reason I relapse, as a response to shame and guilt or even scrupulousness, feelings of despair. I am constantly thinking of the negatives, day in, day out but I still relapse and I always pity myself afterwards.


    EDIT: I should also mention that since attempting to quit PMO, I have regained or atleast developed a sense of empathy I haven't had in years. I feel very very concerned for those stuck in this cycle, this industry and those trafficking or forced into it. Do you think this feeling of sadness and empathy could also be a trigger for relapsing? Idk tbh but somethings just don't seem right to me anymore.

    Why is it that I continue to relapse, watch P and MO, despite knowing the dangers and negatives of it? I'ts become a cycle I am trying to break out of but I am unsure how to. I've tried developing new routines, but the constant thoughts, OCD about the sex industry really bother me, and I tend to feel stressed a lot about it all. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
     
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2020
  2. cesare_undici

    cesare_undici Fapstronaut

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    hy QuiggyG,

    you adressing a few good points here. :)

    frist things first: congrats on making it to 13 days - that's definitely sth and an accomplishment to build on. just imagine you would only relapse every 2w, that would be a pretty good thing for the whole year (of course, depending where you started, but overall definitely sth).

    why are you falling back despite so many reasonable facts that speak against it?
    1) watching porn is far from being a reasonable thing to do. think about it. it has nth to do with reason and your cognitive brain. BUT it speaks to your primal brain, your animalic instincts. when they kick in, there aint no place for reason.
    for those situations, you need an emergency plan. many of this was written elsewhere already so I am not getting into it. just want to stress the point that the cause for your relapse has nth to do with you knowing about the negative effects of porn addiction, or the negativity associated with the whole industry.

    2) if you cannot change it, do not think too much about it. dont get me wrong: it's absolutely legit to be bothered by the negativity of the whole industry, but contemplating on it day in day out doesn't do you any good.
    instead, you must shift your mindset towards more positivity. e.g. let's assume you get past 7 days next day, go and celebrate this with someone (or just yourself). treat yourself nicely for what you achieved. then set the goal for the next 7 days.
    focus on what you are becoming now! instead of being preoccupied with what you were yesterday.

    hope this helps!
     
  3. r8js

    r8js Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations on completing ur 10+ days.......

    Very well expressed written....

    Good luck buddy with ur plans.....
     
  4. BravelyKegger

    BravelyKegger Fapstronaut

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    Honestly people stay addicted because they are not yet ready to progress in the story, for me my life and future was looking very dim, stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean for months and I still am really takes a toll on a person, the military is tough. Because of my pmo addiction my work ethic was trash, my motivation non existent, I got yelled at every day and I was depressed and hated life every day, I tried doing mo without the p but It does not work I discovered my problems were just as bad as if I was doing the whole thing. Than I read one of my old posts on here about how I originally rebooted 4 successful months and it filled me with great motivation, that was 27 days ago and things could not be any better. My whole life has been flipped up side down, I am filled with so much energy and confidence, I am volunteering in programs, I am getting more work done then ever before, I cannot go back. And now my answer to you, until you are at a place in your life where you cannot afford to relapse, you absolutely cannot go back to pmo, until you hit that all time low you may never have the drive to quit, because for me I cannot go back, I might as will throw myself overboard now if I was to do that again, my life has improved so much and I will not go back.
     
  5. Knowledge is not understanding.
     
  6. Zolo22

    Zolo22 Fapstronaut

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    Dude, try thinking about you as somebody who can do things like writing a diary, persuing valuable goals (that will be difficult and painful to achieve), and mastering techniques from different religions. How will you feel? What would you do? Is it possible for you to do this right now?.
     

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