Willing to do anything for love

I’m a now 23 year old man, my body is healthy but feels wrong. That power, that strength is there I know. We have this mind that seems to get in the way. All these thoughts swirling about, kicking yourself down. It’s almost as if we locked ourselves out and now stand in the cold. We repeat that over and over until it is us that is closing the door. We can talk ourselves out of life, we can talk ourselves out of love. Shit, you know I’ve cried over it, been in my room all alone and just wished everything away for love. The problem is I don’t care enough of myself that I push it down and simmer on it. I feel like I’m the good guy for making myself a miserable bastard. That’s what is really is, you gotta put it out into the light. Use this damn forum to really dig deep. If you aren’t gonna be vulnerable, no one will ever be able to know how to be there for you. I said it myself, I’m closing that door even if im still knocking on it. It’s me, I’m in my own way to it all. How the fuck am I gonna meet that woman if I’m alone in the locked house? It’s like our brains are so disturbed we can’t even see reality. Women are just like anyone else, I know they are as there are women I’ve interacted with many times. Family and friends whom I didn’t linger on lust with. As soon as my dick is involved I feel like shit, you know what, that’s the right thing to feel. You ever see a woman just look nervous, even fearful of someone staring at them? See those stories of someone just walking home, only to be scooped off the street? Nowadays we warped our brains to see that as sexual. These porn videos coaxing our minds, blurring the lines. Everything is perverted, how sad is it to not even be able to look at a woman bend over? Even when I do it, for some reason I feel it. I feel what it would be like to have that, it makes me so paranoid. So shit I do understand something is wrong with what is put out for us. How so many people reject faith and say it’s evil. Only to live a life of constant indulgence and emptiness. Only then to pray when all other hope is lost. When the pleasure just doesn’t work anymore. You know with women I still feel more sensitive at least. To me a woman sleeping around is not something to be proud of or even to hate. It’s just sad, a shame that these people resort to embracing the very thing that caused all the issue. The past wasn’t so good either, so it is up to us now to create the present for our families. Even if you don’t have kids, don’t get married. You should wish to protect those that do. Finally to stop having these pieces of trash repopulate. Stop blaming everyone else and yourself. We are done with that, we need people to take action and do something. We have too many bystanders just lingering around doing nothing. Thank you.