Yet another life going to waste

Your first step is deleting that porn collection. As long as you have that...theres literally no point of trying.

You gotta love yourself, you gotta want to be a better version of yourself. And that porn collection has you in shackles. Get out those shackles before attempting to escape that prison.

 

You live alone? Try going two weeks without internet or tv. Disconnect your router and leave it at work. It'll be though, but it will be a good start for recovery.

It's never too late to change. There are men on this forum a lot older than you. You can do it, if you want to. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.

 

Without a second thought, burn those drives. God sent you to this world for anything but PMO. God still loves you very much and has a lot of hope from you. He wants to give you one more chance, which is why you came across this forum. I hope you will not disappoint him.

 

I don't think you need explanation from the female friend - you've articulated it well yourself. Recreate your life.

 

You always have a choice. Live the way you do now and waste away, or destroy your porn collection and start a new life. The choice is yours, friend.

 

Just try one day at a time, that's all you can do. Try changing to better habits. NoFap changed my life to the point I see women see it in me that I don't do that crap. It's fun to watch.

 

Hey man. I feel your pain. You have a tough case. But hang in there.
I would say contrary to many comments here, do not immediately delete your entire porn collection yet. That is an extreme move, and actually I don't believe it will help motivate you to actually quit for good. Quitting anything cold turkey is extremely difficult. I have deleted my libraries of porn in frustration, only to relapse and start watching porn again and searching and collecting again. Deleting your collection is symbolic, but it's too extreme. You will likely relapse, and you will want that porn again.
Eventually though, you will have to get rid of it for good. But try and make some progress first.
What we're looking for here are incremental steps towards improvement, to a point of finally kicking it for good (if that's your goal). I mean, people can't even quit eating gluten 100%. Moderation. Reduce. Bite size steps. This is more manageable.
You can't say "I will be president of a company in one month." You have to break it down into manageable goals.
If you jerk off hours every day, try to take a day off. Then two. Then try and go for a week. Take you hard drives with your porn collection and store them far away outside your house. Delete it in stages, bit by bit. This is what I have done.
As far as social life, again, baby steps. Find an activity you can do once a week, get out of the house. Volunteer at the soup kitchen. Go for a walk. I don't know what your interests are, but you could join a gym, do yoga, meditate. Find a low pressure activity to re-introduce you to the outside world.

You HAVE to get out of the house into the real world of people or your life will not improve.

You may relapse, but this is normal. Go easy on yourself, and try again.
But take a few deep breaths and think rationally about what you can do.
I have also tried to quit several times over the years, only to relapse. It's normal. Right now I am on one week no P no M. It's not much but to me it feels like a year.
Good luck dude.

 

You keep referencing the fact it took you 20 years to build your porn collection and you say it as if you will be throwing 20 years away if you erase the collection. My man, that collection is proof that that 20 years was already wasted. You need to delete that collection so you have a better chance at not wasting the next 20. It's the only way you will be off to a successful start, otherwise, strap in because you will never get off this roller coaster.