You need to see if from the woman's perspective, would you be the man she wants to spend the rest of

I absolutely love what another user wrote. Im gonna share it here:

I am about forty now and can understand how you feel. Life and relationships can be tough. The reality is that many persons do not find that special someone to spend the rest of their life with. And in many cases if you do find someone it is not the fairy tale that you see in Disney cartoons and other main stream media. Wives can cheat and marriages can fail etc.

I would not advocate that you simply give up on relationships but you do need a more realistic perspective on relationships. Depending on where you live getting married can turn very sour if your wife decides she wants a divorce. I would say you need to know how the law applies in the event you get divorced. In many places the laws favor the woman and as a man you can find yourself in a scenario that is way more depressing that your current situation.

Secondly, you need to take a realistic look at yourself, are you the best version of yourself? You need to see if from the woman's perspective, would you be the man she wants to spend the rest of her life with? As hard as it is to think about it you need to ask yourself some hard questions, how sexually attractive are you? How financially well off are you? Do you have the confidence to attract women? (if you are relapsing, then ofc all of the answers to the above questions will be negative) Are you setting your standards too high i.e. maybe you are a 6 on a scale of 1 - 10 but you trying to land women who are a 8 - 10. How has porn affected your view of women? Are you emotionally regulated or are you all needy and winey?

After you have had a hard look at yourself then you need to decide how am I going to improve, Do I need to exercise and eat well? Do I need to enhance my skill set to allow me to be a higher earner, do I need to heal emotionally and move past those past hurts that make me feel so low? Do I need to learn to be comfortable being single?

The best advice I can give is that you need to build a life that women wants to be a part of, not build a life that centers around a woman.

I would also give up on dating apps and sites, I have no experience with them to be honest but all the feedback on them I get is horrible. They tend to be superficial. I would say engage in social activities that present opportunities to meet new people. These could be physically or virtually but having the ability to bond and communicate with people who have similar interest is a good social outlet. And you may just be lucky enough to meet someone.