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You're getting old

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by R2DToy, Jan 4, 2021.

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  1. Jan 25, 2021 #21
    recoome

    recoome Fapstronaut

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    m just angry at what could've been. sure its not too late, u can still get it all etc etc...
    i wish i had learnt to say 'no' earlier.
     
    recoome, Jan 25, 2021
    recoome, Jan 25, 2021
    #21
  2. Jan 25, 2021 #22
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    I've been thinking a similar way the last few years. Slowly getting over it.

    Now 31, I could easily say I wasted most of my 20s. Low end jobs, porn instead of women, generally being an antisocial gamer.

    I'm now just one year away from being qualified in a career that pays well enough and I'm passionate about, I have fewer friends but make sure to enjoy the catch ups, and I am living way healthier in terms of food/exercise/sexuality.

    And yet, it's very easy to look back with resentment...

    Why couldn't dumbass 21yo me just save my money, spend time with the girls who were interested then, and generally just live life more.

    But the real regret would be to not learn from my mistakes...

    I won't get locked into a mortgage with a job I despise, I'm a lot more patient to meet a compatible partner now, and I try to live more in reality each day - with the knowledge that to not do so is regrettable.

    There's also plenty left to get excited about:
    - modern medicine means we may live longer, or at least healthier lives, if we put the effort in
    - in our 30s, we can be pretty compatible with girls in their 20s, great timing if a family is a goal
    - what did you want to do when a kid that you couldn't do at the time? (I was inspired to drive and mod a manual car, only just getting to do it now and it's almost meditative)

    If I could say one last idea, give social media a wide birth if you haven't already... Compare yourself to yourself only is a good saying, and it's near impossible when we 'follow' all sorts of media or bad news.

    Hope some of this helped man!
     
    Reborn16, Jan 25, 2021
    Reborn16, Jan 25, 2021
    #22
  3. Jan 26, 2021 #23
    R2DToy

    R2DToy Fapstronaut

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    I also still have plenty of 'regrets'. There's NOTHING I can do to change the past. So these days, I'm just trying to pick myself up. No more resentment, just looking at what I CAN do now. I'll never get those years back. Neither will you. But there are plenty of years ahead of us. Focus on that is the most important thing.

    In my opinion, being young equals being 'stupid'. In essence young people are just that, albeit in a more 'ignorant' way. The less experience you have on this planet, the less you know. On top of that you've got these hormones buzzing through your blood like crazy. That's just a recipe for mistakes. You think less, and you 'just do it'. When you get older you calm down and get used to using your brain more.

    However, we must be cautious we don't get caught up in our thinking. This will stop you. It causes depression. So, taking action has priority over all. Take action to tackle our negative thinking, take action to feel more and experience who we are and what we want, and of course take action to pursue our dreams. Only a week ago - as crazy as it sounds - I discovered I was able to motivate myself again. I dropped all self-pity, took action when I felt I was sliding down and climbed right back up. Currently it feels as if I AM in control of myself, once more!
     
    R2DToy, Jan 26, 2021
    R2DToy, Jan 26, 2021
    #23
    Reborn16 likes this.
  4. Jan 26, 2021 #24
    Reborn16

    Reborn16 Fapstronaut

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    Well said R2DToy. What you describe reminds me of the advice from Mark Manson on motivation, where it starts with action coming first.

    And I guess everyone has that phase where we have years of 'just do it' decisions, and then we may feel it's been a waste. But yes, we get to experience what doesn't work (often before we have too many responsibilities) and that's one of the biggest benefits. Now we just have to move forward with lessons learned.
     
    Reborn16, Jan 26, 2021
    Reborn16, Jan 26, 2021
    #24
    ruso likes this.
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