Hello there I'm on day 17 out from PMO. It feels great, but two days ago I found myself again going for a fun in a public restroom where usually guys stand there for some sex/bj/jack. For me it's a compulsive behavior and I'm finding it difficult to avoid it. I started warning close friends before getting into a public restroom when I need one and also using the restroom home. But I feel myself charmed by it, this self exposure. I don't rationally like it because it's against the law, it's not a nice place for such things and I feel nasty and dirty doing or falling for it. Just wanted to share. I don't know if someone face the same problem. But I will not let it beat me.
Hey man, I don't understand what do you do over there, and why are you warning your friends not to use the same toilet (even in the home)? If you are going there in order to have sex, well ... that's what most gay men do. If you feel "nasty and dirty" about that, that's a completely different problem. Also, I don't see the relation with your PMO problem.
hi, thanks! I often go there looking for a blowjob or jack off with other guys. this action is related to my PMO because it enduces me to M, O. and i'm rebooting. I feel nasty because i didnt like to do it. I'd rather prefer go somewhere else more conmfortable and honorable. that's the point, for me it's a compulsive sexual behavior. it's something very hard to avoid for me. i feel without control there. i call my friends(acccountability partner) to warn them i'm in a public restroom, so I dont fall for any desire. i didnt consider a relapse, because it was quick and I ran, no orgasm or precum. But I'm afraid going to places now and relapsing.
How exactly does having sex in public toilet induces your M and O? You mean like it induces it while you are there and jack with other guys or what?? Well, If you are there for bj and jack that's what you came fore - I don's see problem. If it induces M and O after that, while you are fantasizing about your experience in the public toilet, that's also completely normal. If you don't want to masturbate while fantasize you can go there again and have more sex with the real guys - I don't see problem here either. If the problem is related to place where you are having sex than why don't you go somewhere else where it's more "comfortable and honorable"? And which part exactly you "didn't like to do" - part with toilet, masturbation or maybe there's something wrong with the gay sex part? What do your friends (APs) tell you when you call them and tell them that you are in bathroom?
in this momment, I shoud not go anywhere for the rebooting process. it's being fantastic leaving P and M. As I am married, I would not like to go there. I don't need to. But feel the intense desire, a crave without control. nothing wrong with the gay sex, it's just I want to choose to go there, and not being carried without control there. specially because my SO don't like me doing that without her. I just called him once (AP), that's my first to try to avoid this attitude; he reminded me about my purpose in this 90PMO, and encouraged me to just do what I need to do in public places, and keep my focus on my recovery, because it's for the best. I found that being focused in my activity remind me of não giving attention to this crave, and also calling my AP. I hope for the next days I can handle this crave. It's also a crime here where I live, so i don't want to give me such a shame to be in jail for that.
it's not clear at all how this public toilet experience affects your P and M and why do you watch porn and masturbate at all? You are telling me that you're married and have gay sex besides that ... Man! that should be enough sex for you . Who can achieve all that? Why masturbate or watch porn when you can have sex with your wife and later with the guys (not necessarily in toilet)?? And if you stop P and M what will it change? Do you think you'll stop going to public toilets and where do you plan to go instead?
My plan is to stop going to the toilets. And stop having sex with guys, although it feels good. Because usually, I don't connect with the guys I fuck, they are just for fun and I don't think that is healthy. I would like to go intimate with my wife only. Sex with her feels complete. And I love her so much to give up on the other side.
Awesome, that is a great plan! I wish you all the best! I thought that there is some problem in "gay sex" part - and you just confirmed that by saying that you want to "stop having sex with guys", ...but still don't understand what porn has to do with all that ... why do you masturbate? Are you fantasizing about men while masturbating? Are you satisfied with your sex life and your wife?
