Why do I keep failing even when I'm happy?

Have you considered filters? Like: https://ht-vector.com/ht-family-shield or even https://getcoldturkey.com/ or a DNS like https://cleanbrowsing.org/help/docs/setup-content-filtering-on-windows-with-cleanbrowsing/ ? This might be a helpful first step. Secondly, focus on other things than porn. Search for a fun activity every day (talking to a friend, go for a walk, etc.)
Unfortunately there is no magic spell to end this in 0.3 seconds. But I know you can overcome this addiction! We're here for you. I'm rooting for you!

 

this is a valid feeling. If in your past one used pmo to calm down either from high anxiety or just for euphoria, your amygdala/core brain/survival brain has been conditioned to expect it for relaxing.

To recondition, you need to redirect that need into something else like meditation, just sitting, or watching nature. Maybe it’s making a cup of tea and then just resting with no stimulus like YouTube, screens, or sounds.

this resulting feeling is shame. comes from believing that you are a bad person for doing that again, you’ve lost all progress, or you’re not seeing the big picture with healing at the end.

to reframe, you must count your wins along the way, learn from your relapses by taking an inventory of what got you there, and think big picture that you are on a journey. Perhaps daydream of what life would be like without pmo. Or daydream about the resulting feeling after you slip.

 

i have similiar experience. at first i use pmo for releasing my stress, but after some years i use it even in my happy or productive day. at that moment i feel i need some 'reward' and my brain just direct me to pmo, my usual and easy pleasure. but sometimes yes, i just feel want to do 'it' cause it has become a habit.

i heard from dr trish leigh channel yt that there is a 'brain hijacker' in every pmo addiction, telling us that pmo is okay, pmo is normal thing, and make us have no control to ourself. but yeah we have to against it

i recommend you this youtube channel (Dr. Trish Leigh) to learn more about how the addiction brain work. it helps me a lot, although i haven't success either in this proccess
good luck!

 

I have experienced something similar. After pmo I usually try to find what the trigger was but there have been times where like you I felt good but still pmo'd anyway. It took me a while to realize that the problem was that my brain was would experience a deficit of dopamine at some point, so for example I could be spending the afternoon with my family having a nice time but then everyone goes home, my brain wants the dopamine flow to continue and since my family is not there it will switch to a source that it is familiar i.e. porn.

 

Have you considered switching to a "dumber" phone? Or perhaps ask a specialist to make some changes?

 

I relate to this a lot. I used to binge PMO after having GREAT, positive, fun days with friends.
The truth is, I think a lot of us here have a problem with sex addiction, not just "too much PMO."
check out this self- survey and see if it applies:
https://saa-recovery.org/am-i-a-sex-addict/self-assessment/

To an addict (like myself) there is no "off" day. Acting out is a way of life, its like grabbing chocolate ice cream when youre a diabetic. It is a mood regulator, good days and bad. Self-medicating.
It's not easy to admit we have a problem like this, and I ran from it for many years until PMO gave me PiED. SAA meetings have been helping me a lot.

I suggest journaling - write down your feelings. it helps SO Much to understand the triggers and patterns. Get out of the secret double-life with yourself and be honest with what youre going through. Keep coming back and posting here. It gets better my friend. We are here to help

 

what @cleaningupmyact says here:

If you are too ecstatic, either from doing a good thing or having a bad experience, your mind wants to regulate back to "neutral." Your neurons and brain wiring (see the getting started guide) has learned PMO as the regulation technique and made a very easy highway to automatically get there. You need to interrupt it and reroute the calming directions by trying new things that can bring you down.

 

You can try from the F-droid store, the Rethink DNS and then select the family filters as your choice. There's even more indepth filters to choose from. Then go into its app settings and put a password to open it so its just one more speed bump.

 

Yeah, this happened to me before. As far as I know there are a few reasons why this might happen.
1. Your life isn't really going as great as you think. I don't say this to discourage you or demotivate you. Sometimes when we're addicted we look at life with rose colored glasses. Meaning, we put ourselves in problems that we don't have the power to solve and think everything is going to be okay. I look back at certain times in my life, when I thought I was on top of the world, but really there was a mountain waiting to fall down on me. There's a difference between optimism, and delusion. Journaling helps.
2. Hypnotic suggestion from images. Be careful what you look at, even in your side vision, because it has an effect on your beliefs, thoughts, and feelings, even subconsciously. This is something we don't appreciate enough. Maybe the things you're looking at are feeding a monster in your brain that will bite you from behind. Careful.
3. Just not enough time. The mind is complex. There are many layers to it. It takes time to adjust to a PMO free existence. Years, even. Give yourself enough time and enough room to fail, so you don't get discouraged.
HTH
Tawwab