Day 53 check-in. I feel like it's been about a week since I checked in. My apologies, been a busy week. All is going well in recovery though!
Checking in. It's been a rough week of intense urges and horrible physical and mental withdrawal symptoms, but I made it and instead of fighting my brain, and I'm trying to really feel everything instead of avoiding/hiding. Unfortunately old pains and new pain I didn't know about returned/started when I stopped PMO over a week ago, it goes to show how much of a drug that stuff can be. It's like I was on morphine for years and my brain can't cope without it. I look forward to challenging my brain and seeing what kind of nonsense and trickery it'll try to beat me.
Checking in 02/10/17 going through that predictable stage - brain trying to rationalize etc. I'm not done yet
Checking in again on my normal Monday checkin. I'm on day 29 today. Feel good. Everyday is day 1 in my mind. 29 days, no relapse, no pmo
Checking in again. All good so far. No P, no M, tiny flashbacks but I have noticed without M and letting the mind wander the usual first few days have been a lot easier. Possibly as I have been trying to quit P since Jan with a few relapses, there has been more days of no P than of P which one can build on
Well, I failed. Kind of. I just looked at porn during some hard moments for a few days, but I don't really consider it a failure anymore than not being able to hold a plank for a set amount of time is a failure. That's just your threshold and you keep doing sets to get stronger. So, for me, that's 40-45 days no porn. I reset my tracker for full disclosure and just so nobody thinks I'm one of the masters around here. But, in my head, I'm still on day 50+ and going strong. Once I look at porn, I kind of go through a few days of doing so before being able to go clean again. Now, I entered the new stage again.
Thank you! I appreciate it! =) Do it! Welcome back, keep us updated! =) Stay strong girl! =) Congratulations on your success up till now! If you haven't already, get yourself an accountability parter who can help you on your beautiful journey. The withdrawal symptoms will gradually go away and will get weaker and weaker. You are in the process of transforming yourself into a stronger person. All the best! Updating: 18 days strong. Gosh life threw some heavy blows at me but I am doing alright. This nofap/no PMO thing really builds up my mental resiliance. Thank you all for being on this journey! You transform this world into a better place. Cheers! /Baldur