Hey friends i am just curious because the main reason I relapse is because I stare at a girls bum or boobs on tv or YouTube for to long.. I just need everybody’s help. Has anybody had this issue? I know even people eat unhealthy and they say to themselves “might as well relapse and start fresh tomorrow.” I feel like if my recovery isn’t on point then it’s worthless. Also is there a difference between a lapse and a relapse?
I think some people are more strict than others, but I'm sure we can all agree any porn, masturbation, or orgasm is considered a relapse. I personally don't consider briefly admiring a fully clothed woman a relapse, but I wouldn't reccomend it, or recommend doing it too long and then dwelling on it.
Just to clarify Fabian, the 3 second rule is basically: Notice (1 second); Admire (1 second); Move on (1 second). If you can get into the habit of doing this, you will greatly reduce your relapses. Staring at body parts isn't conducive to recovery.
I stare at girls bums all the time at the supermarket. it makes shopping for groceries far less tedious . I also play the fake or real tits game. At the end of the day it is not like you can get your pecker out in the canned meats aisle and start pounding on your pope. Good luck Fabian 7 a sense of humor really helps along with the 3 second rule.
Real life is fine it’s just any type of artificial stimulation. I’ll liken it to an alcoholic. If he has just a bit of whiskey and gets a buzz that’s a relapse. Do you know what I mean?
Thanks! It’s gotten to a point where if I see a trigger and I stare for more than one second my brain is like “Relapse! Relapse!” I can be a perfectionist and i feel like if my recovery is not perfect well then I’m lying to everybody lol
I think you're going to notice these things somewhat. There is a reason we are attracted to women. It is a built in mechanism. Relax a little. Don't be so hard on yourself.
I have found addiction runs on "all or nothing" mentality, we are fooled by inner addict to think that we are either 100% sober or 100% dirty and acting out. Be aware of this trap, and know that the aim in recovery is progress and not perfection. So if you mistakenly stared at boobs or anything else that is sexual in nature, as long as you didn't go nine yards and indulge in it then you are safe
Anything I used to sexually stimulate myself. This includes porn obviously, pics, gifs, erotica, intentionally watching women on the street to get aroused, browsing dating sites or instagram just to see women and sexual fantasizing.
It's difficult but the only way out of this shithole. I am so good at sex fantasizing that i don't really need porn to get aroused. And it's not like the arousal is pleasant, i just need it like a drug addict needs it's fix to be normal
Hey friend thanks for checking in on me! Very well but oh man.. if it was not for you guys I would have relapsed for sure! My addict self will use ANY excuse, I mean any excuse lol. Then I go “well I may as well FULLY relapse and start fresh tomorrow..” it’s absolutley ridiculous. I’m breaking free from that mind set. Again, thank you. You’ve really helped me. Now I know recovery is progress not perfection.
Yeah, we've all been there. They key is to take action immediately when you catch yourself ogling butts and boobs, or a naked image comes to mind or a thought about doing a dumb search for sex-related words etc... I hope these help bro: https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-and-tricks-for-newbies.201477
Good luck Fabian just remember to look in the mirror every morning and feel proud that you did not jack off last night to some internet porn of some guy sucking off a transwoman. keep the faith.
Ha! It’s hilarious I actually had a dream I did last night and I woke up and woah what a relief! The inner addict is our worst enemy he will use absolutely any excuse to watch some porn