Slept in. Don't feel rested. Annoyed. Full of anger. Lashing out. Low energy. Dazed/groggy feeling. Depressed. Anxiety. Trying to change my mood or at least fake it, but it's not working. Urges to act out with PMO. All day long. It's unusual for me to have this much trouble for so much of the day. Drank a bunch on Wednesday night (5 tall cans) and was hung over thurs. Still felt off friday. I think I'm done with booze (it's never worth it) Also had sex a couple of times this week. And most of a dark chocolate bar last night (sugar!) I'm wondering if this is my mind/body demanding more dopamine. Or what is going on? A withdrawal symptom. I just feel like laying on the floor until bedtime. lol . or binging on porn (not going to - don't worry) Been texting my wife during the day and kinda dumping my stress on her while she's at work - not a cool move I know. Now she just called all stressed out and yelled at me. Waiting for her to get home. Will try to be calm and kind. I should make myself do some yoga, might change my mood enough to salvage the rest of the day. Ok - just had to put this somewhere. thanks for listening.
Withdrawal symptoms. Your brain is craving it's PMO dopamine fix. It's perfectly normal when going cold turkey. I'm there with you man. Here's to better days.
Do mind that he has had sex and drunk booze and stuff. I'm currently on 100+ days (changed counter to motivate a stubborn fapstronaut) I've never had these symptoms although this is my second streak. He had sex and his body remembers the immense pleasure during orgasm. That's why its craving it. I haven't ejaculated in about 100+ days. ever since my streak began. I had a wet dream last year in my previous streak but I don't know why i didn't get one yet Maybe I'm low on testosterone? I don't think so.! I consume healthy fats every single day and follow a high protein diet. so most probably all of my testosterone is prioritizing building muscle instead of building sperm cells. Just go full monk mode and No ejaculation then you'll be fine. Its hard at its initial stages, but damn rewarding when you're out of the addiction.
So cool that you share this here because the act of sharing can take some of the stress and pressure away...and help us stay centered for another day. I know I have good days and bad days--high urge days and no urge days....and it's good for me to dissect them to understand the "why" of both. I learn from the every day, good or bad. I also feel as though sometimes I'm like a pot of water slowly being heated up on a stove and eventually I boil over (P/M) if I don't start addressing the situation right when I notice that pot is on burner.
Not a normal day for me. Overall the 50 days has been positive and things keep improving, especially relationships. Yesterday was rough, but i stayed clean, i got work done, i even did yoga. Just had to process the feelings. I feel much better today.
That’s what I’m talking about! So glad you got through yesterday and glad you told us today. This thing is sometimes moment by moment. You’re doing great man. Keep it up!
Progress is never linear. Part of the process. I too am the same. I want to think it's a trick of the mind, that is trying to tempt you back. Have faith that eventually you can reboot your mind, just that it still lies further into the future.
Withdrawal symptoms, all of them. Your brain entered in state of dopamine deficiency and wants to get dopamine no matter what. Alcohol = dopamine, sugar = dopamine... Even PMO cravings = dopamine. I abandoned any sugar except in fruits/milk and started to abstain from alcohol altogether because of it. My cure for such days is brisk walking/running or cycling for 90 minutes followed by 15 minutes of Wim Hof breathing technic and icy shower for 5-10 minutes after breathing.
Woke up feeling terrible again today. (day 3 of this) No motivation, no energy, flu like symptoms. Strong Urges. Yesterday I got exercise, I got stuff done, I ate well and still felt crummy all day. I'm going to make myself do a HIIT workout (it's fast and effective) and 20 mins of yoga this morning. Will try the hot/cold shower as well. I don't want to, but I'm going to have to "conquer the inner bitch". If this doesn't improve things then I don't know what to do. I honestly just feel like weeping and watching tv all day. hahaha . I know that this is just a dark spot and things will improve (soon?). Try this for fun: *video removed for being possibly triggering* I can do 2 rounds (kinda) and will be gasping for breath on the floor afterwards. lol ok - withdrawal sucks - reminds me of when I quit smoking. I need to make this the last time I go through this shit. I got better things to do with my time/life.
ok did one round of the video above. was really difficult, don't have the same energy/ability as usual today. also did 20 min yoga and am feeling better now. talked to my SA sponsor who gave me some inspiration/perspective to help get through the day. my intention is not to fail today and I will act accordingly and consider it done.
Good for you brother! I see you have some good tools in place. Often we see/hear people that want the trick to make them stop acting out. There isn’t one! Just effort and good structure and a million little things to get through the day sober. Glad you are working it!
Muhammad Ali used to count the push ups only when they used to hurt. These are the days that actually count. Keep fightin!