Day 7! Today was really good... I have been reading a great book called The Brothers Karamazov. I highly recommend it. The authors insight into the human condition is frightening. Listen to this: Above all, do not lie to yourself. A man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point where he does not discern any truth either in himself or anywhere around him, and thus falls into disrespect towards himself and others. Not respecting anyone, he ceases to love, and having no love, he gives himself up to passions and coarse pleasure, in order to occupy and amuse himself, and in his vices reach complete bestiality, and it all comes from lying continually to others and to himself. The character who this is being told to is an utter reck and represents the extreme of something we all can relate to. We lie to ourselves about who we are and then we betray ourselves until we can no longer see the truth of what we are doing to ourselves and others.
Day 32. Surprisingly tough morning, perhaps I should drink less coffee. Other than that a great day and great weather.
Welcome on board! Posting everyday provides accountability and support. This is basically daily group accountability with a fun spin. Your daily posts support you and the group as we all strive towards our goals together. Cheers!
Day 76! Yesterday was tough, felt like major PAWS. Today feels much better so far! Onwards and upwards!
Day 2. I relapsed 2 days ago. I'm now back to being a lowly little orc. It sucks, but I'm gonna keep moving forward.
Day 18 I missed yesterday. It was a rough and so is this morning. Not because of PMO but because I had met a woman only on Monday and we texted back in forth all day yesterday, but around 5PM, I said something with the attempt to make her laugh/feel good, and it had the opposite effect. She blew up at me and I unfortunately spammed her trying to make it up to her. So far nothing, and now I am feeling down because I screwed up a good thing with clumsy speech. If I do not hear back from her by 9PM, I will delete the app and try again on a later date many months down the road. Best, Mathman1994
Someone posted a video from YouTube that I liked. I had to delete my original post, as it was against Hell, which is of a religious nature. My reasoning was that the video mentioned Heaven and Hell, so I posted my feelings about beliefs in such things. Now, I think the video should be taken down, although I do not know whether I will go back and find it in the previous post. It was probably a couple or few days ago, and I am not bothered that much by it. Thanks to anyone who saw my original post a minute ago, for understanding my feelings. I am back at one day. Yesterday I edged and did not come clean about it to either you all or my wife. For that I apologize. Now everything is in the open with you, and I will come clean to my wife when I find an opportune time. I know that should be right now, but with her migraines I am using them as an excuse not to make her hurt more right now. I will tell her, I promise. To everyone who has more time free, thanks for inspiring the rest of us by regularly posting. You keep me going! We all have the same temptations more or less, and we need to 'destroy the ring,' each of us. I will become the person I need to be to get to Mordor and burn my ring! I am close to being done for good. I am now down to only edging and lying about that, and I know that it will cause enough 'hell' to keep me away from masturbating to orgasm or, far worse, watching illegal porn-- and all free porn online is illegal. Trust me, do not try to challenge this by looking for some that's legal. You won't. Besides, you'll end up fapping again to crap that, even if it were legal, would be unethical. Thanks, speaking of ethics, to whoever posted the aforementioned video, even with its mention of religiously-believed places, as it helped me see the bad in objectifying people. I have been doing that so much that it is now ingrained, even though all along I have been against it. Ignorance is not bliss. Have a great time until I see you all tomorrow, I hope. I will try to get on daily like I am supposed to. It may make the difference between immediate failure and immediate, lasting success. Be well, happy, prosperous and, most importantly, successful (as it enables the other three)!