The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Triggers suck! But I'm still going, 4 days.

 

Day 10 completed. This Uruk-Hai is still destined to become a Hobbit.

My urges have subsided a lot. I hope to be rid of them one day, maybe soon.

I love my wife, and watching pornography for years has made my body attracted to it more than to a real woman, even the woman of my dreams. After two months today not watching it, I still have trouble getting physically turned on fully by my wife. This really sucks, besides that she wants me to move out. Regardless of whether I need to move, I will not watch porn anymore.

There is a website I went to which has a three-part documentary called "Brain Heart World." It describes how porn affects the brain, the heart, and the world. It gives hope for people affected by the evils of pornography. Here is a link. Put your name and email address in, and it will give you access to the free documentary. It does not keep emailing you (I may have had to unsubscribe but there was no spam). They do not sign you up for anything, but you can donate if you choose. It's Fight The New Drug, so I started a monthly donation, but obviously that is up to each person.
https://brainheartworld.org/

Hang in there, everyone. We can do this! Destroy the porn ring, one step of the journey at a time if necessary, but keep going. I am proud to be a part of the NoFap with you.

Be Well and Happy,
Al

 

Day 5 Check in! Last day as Orc!

 

Day 2
Check in! Good luck everybody!

 

Check in for day 9. Can't wait to be a Hobbit!

 

That is a fair assessment. I wanted to believe that it did not happen when I got up. I wanted to justify to myself, that it was a mistake, that because it was not porn, that I was somehow off the hook (I don’t know why I thought that because I know the answer, so I suppose it was fleeting wishful thinking). I had not been using social media much before I masturbated, but the night I spent some time on it, I fell off the horse. So I had already been staying off of facebook, and social media, and it was working, I just need to keep that up. I had seen this really gorgeous woman who is in a grad program at a school I was looking at, and I had found her on Facebook, and despite the whole stupidity of doing this, I briefly considered messaging this complete stranger, but then I realized that she would not want that, that it was creepy, and as my therapist pointed out today, that would almost certainly ruin my chances of getting into that school if I struck up an unsolicited conversation with her. So glad I did not give into my desire to talk to a beautiful stranger as it could have very easily hurt my chances getting into the school I want. Still feel stupid about even having those thoughts, though I suppose that despite not lusting after her, it played upon the fundamental parts of my mind, that have been corrupted by PMO.

I am just glad that all I did last night was masturbate to Instagram models, and that I did not send a message to someone that could potentially ruin my chances at grad school. Thank God for that. I just feel aggrieved to have even had the thought in the first place.

Other that PMO, has anyone almost done or have done a career ruining thing that you could potentially have linked to how you treat your brain with PMO? This was a really close call, but I am glad I had at least some good sense left in me last night.

Best,
Mathman1994

 

27 days down

 

Day 11
Ace the race

 

Latest update: Day 60 - Successfully left Moria, now entering the Kingdom of the Silvan Elves, Lothlórien.

 

Day 3 Begins! This Orc is keen to morph into a Uruk-Hai soon!

 

day 10: it's been a long time since i reached this point! One of te biggest trigger for me is alcohol. So i will keep it down to a minimum the couple weeks.
five more days to Hobbiton.

 

Day 35

 

Day 3 - going strong

 

Day - 4 Completed Successfully
Checking In For Day 5

 

Day 5 today. Feeling better.

 

Good on you! Stay vigilant, and I hope to see you here daily, if that is realistic for you. Let us not stop reading and learning from the experienced.

I can't either, let us do this! We will become Hobbits around the same time.

Day 11 (Day 63 free of erotic video).
I no longer get tempted to watch pornography. It would destroy my chances of getting back onto good terms with my wife.
As for masturbation, I feel less temptation each day. Yesterday I did not struggle with it; there was a little temptation a couple times, but I just brushed it off, basically, and kept occupied.
Day 10 went better than the previous days. My wife only cried two or three times over my lies and behavior over the years I have known her.
I am supposed to move out, although my wife will still date me. I am finding myself deciding whether I will masturbate while in my apartment away from her for a prolonged period. I hope not to, but I doubt I will be able to hold out long at this point. I will stay porn-free, definitely, but I think I will end up masturbating, I hate to say. I hope I can change my mind before I move.

"You Shall Not Faap!" ~Gandalf, in the LotR version with the porn-ring
Al

 

Day 2. I have my defenses down, a lot of phone and some stress, making it a explosive combination. Now I´m trying to make it different.

 

@Ciceron You have got this. Remember why you are doing it, stay free of PM, and remember, we are all behind you.

 

Day 142.

 

Day 17.