I am watching 'Seeking a friend for the end of the world' now and it is interesting how peoples values change almost instantly....as well as the character traits. But we live like we are going live forever... Don't put aside living clean and pure life for later indefinitely.
Yes, I have a fiancee and we were having sex within the time period of this streak after 80 days. It was something I was rather torn about because I wanted to wait until marriage, but I was afraid she might reject me in having to wait (its happened before). Of course, I was a fool to believe this as she would have been perfectly fine with waiting, but I lied anyway and it only came to light at the start of lent. It is for the best because, even though I love her I think I was unconsciously using her for that perceived physical need of pmo like I mentioned in my last post. Love is more of a give than take and I have a PhD in taking. So now, the rest of this streak will be o free. I don't mean anything specific when it comes to temptations. I like the Merriam Webster dictionary definition In temptation, we entice ourselves, others, or other entities entice us to do wrong. All of us here recognize that the promise of pleasure and gain from pm is a lie, but we still give in or feel like giving up often. Why? Let me digress with a little anecdote. As a child I remember stealing a few small things. A book from the elementary school library. Without ever been having directly told, that I can remember, I knew what I was doing was wrong and the weight of that on my mind made it very easy for my father to catch me. He worked out that I should spend the rest of the school week cleaning the library. I learned from this, that the punishment didn't outweigh the reward of stealing, but most importantly to be known and thought of as a thief was the worst! Culture doesn't "normalize" theft the way it does with lust. How many of us grew up thinking these things were normal and even getting caught does not seem to deter us, because it feels as though everyone were doing it too. If someone were to say, I'm a former kleptomaniac the world would applaud him or her for coming forward and repenting (and rightfully so!), but if you or I were to say "I'm a former pmo addict" we would be looked at as if we were crazy. So I believe there's a certain shame that comes with this that drives it into the dark when it should be brought to light. Digressions aside, nearly all our temptations come from a corrupted will. The trigger is simply that library book on the table that you "just have to have". We are faced with triggers everyday and at any moment, especially given something as pernicious, all invasive, and so widely accepted as this. Anyone can make up a list of triggering things and blame them for their downfall, but the reality is that it's not entirely those things in themselves. If it were, we could all simply live like hermits, but even they go through temptations. Even Jesus in the desert faced down temptations of a much higher order. Certain settings are not conducive to spiritual growth and some are. Some are more detrimental than others, especially if the people we are around are a bad influence. But the thing remains, we will face temptations with or without triggers. And we will face them often. There are those who are pure in heart and will become such in this life, I hope to be such a one through God's grace. Perhaps I put too much emphasis on the will and that is my shortcoming. Lastly, the relationship of lust to other vices? That's an interesting question and I don't know that I'm equipped to answer it. Not that I've been equipped to answer the rest, but only offer my of thoughts, feelings, amd anecdotes. But this question reminded me of Dante's "Purgatorio". The mount of purgatory is arranged so that those at the bottom, with the furthest to climb, are those who loved too little and those at the top being those who loved too much (in the wrong way). The emphasis being that we are made for love and that all the vices are a corruption of that principle. In any case, I hope you find that interesting and maybe helpful on finding direction to an answer for that question.
that´s autopilot bro. it´s very usual to happen. you must create a triggers prevention plan to avoid entering autopilot relapses. a triggers prevention plan is vital, especially on the first 3-4 weeks. also the stress work that you´ve been reporting increases the change of a collapse. you got to pay attention to yourself bro. all reboots starts and endures with self-care habits.
100% autopilot relapse. I also was tired after a long day. Not making excuses just trying to figure out why I did this. Any advice on a prevention plan?
Checking in Fellowship . Uruk-Hai now!!! Good day today, although still tired and a bit foggy but i´m managing throught. I´m doing the wim hof method several times per day to keep me sharp and battle brain fog. download some horror movies today which is always a slippery slope for me, as i tend to check the story and pictures and quite often find movies with nude actresses or borderline. i found a couple of those movies, but dodge then on the spot: "nop, that´s too much skin" my social anxiety continues to drop, i went to the barber today and a new employee (a ladie) cut my hair. we had a good conversation, i felt at ease, no anxiety Lot´s of events on the last 24 hours among the Fellowship . Proud of you my brothers and sisters @ksie @Gallade_Templar - Uruk-Hai @UpInSmokeTour - Pass of Caradhras / Misty Mountains @LuckyMan - Doors of Durin / Moria @MyGodandMyAll27 - Anduin River / Wilderland @jaberwaki - Warrior / Amon Hen A wave of support to our brother @Juxtaposition facing a hard time. Hang in there my brother, sometimes it´s all about trial and error, learn, improve and carry on. Let´s go, we´re with you!!! Have a great day brave Fellowship!!! And a even better weekend “Good Morning!" said Bilbo, and he meant it. The sun was shining, and the grass was very green. But Gandalf looked at him from under long bushy eyebrows that stuck out further than the brim of his shady hat. "What do you mean?" he said. "Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?" "All of them at once," said Bilbo. "And a very fine morning for a pipe of tobacco out of doors, into the bargain."
it´s difference for everyone bro. i must say that in a rule of thumb, all situations that causes you hesitation must go. and the plan must be updated often, as with time some situations become less dangerous, others continue to be so, and new situations can arise as triggers. pay attention to yourself. your gut knows better
I haven't posted for a while, but I'm planning on getting back into meditation and cold showers. I have strayed far away from the quest. But now I am back and here to destroy this ring
How did you feel right before it happened? Has it happened in the same place before in a pretty much the same way? Do you live alone?
The evil can pull you into darkness through any sin/vice and once there you don't have power to resist temptations anymore . And if you feel lonely it very often mean you are in sin and the grace of God can't enter you until you cleaned yourself from it. It also means that you have work to do and there is hope if you are diligent that one day you'll have a pure heart again,just like children!
Maybe it's fortunately because when feeling urges you can break your loneliness and talk to them. It would help you if you made a list of all things that trigger you into surrender to your urges and get rid of them, like for example that VR set,TV programs and movies with nakedness and sex etc. You see you cant serve two masters vice and virtue at the same time. You have to choose your side and cut out another, otherwise you will be wasting your time and loosing faith in yourself from endless failures to quit PMO. Or you can experiment by binging in PMO for your heart contents until your health takes a nosedive for the worst(so that you could see and feel the full extent of damage from PMO as your own experience.It would also helped you to get rid of false believes in any value of PMO.) and then switch to no PMO -NoFap so you could appreciate the benefits you are getting from clean life from your own experience.
Today I begin my journey. It’s a long one but I’m ready for it, looking forward to it. Here we go...Day 0.
Kudos to you my friend. Keeping the streak strong while making another lifestyle change is a wonderful accomplishment.! Thanks for sharing the Simpsons clip too! It was good for a laugh
Day 14, Dad is planning a surprise visit tomorrow which is a welcome one, however, we do not have the best of relationships. I have noticed a trend that I often times relapse when speaking with him on the phone and this is the first time that I will see him face to face in over a year. Its been an odd day and I am getting ready to start class. Intention is to keep myself PMO free and to have a run in the morning to have a fresh mindset going into the weekend and with the planned visit from pops tomorrow. May just be hitting that next bump in the road to recovery which is always a welcome one. Tomorrow I will be a Hobbit and the journey truly begins! Thank you for your support and friendship Fellowship.
