The Lord of the Rings Challenge

Day 5 it seems. Have been feeling good, meeting family, and just watched prophetic things, enjoying one of the lasts sumer nights, could be better, but mybe later.
Felt good to be able to return to doing updates. Passion has started brewing

 

With all the good stuff(meditation,cold shower etc) done I still manage to procrastinate on important stuff(planning and organizing) .

 

Thank you friend, I'm glad it resonated with you and hope the pain was quickly replaced with peace and contentment. I appreciate your kindness.

 

Detachement
Some girls texted me to see them, I replied but didn't go out with them.

With the girl I'm seeing it seems to be going good, even do she hasn't texted me in two days. She's been busy at work, so it could be that.

I haven't use the internet for watching movies, yt or social media. I feel a life detached from worldly pleasure is more enjoyable than anything the world could offer me.

 

What you mentioned here was part of my journey as well. The insomnia is unfortunate, but if you give in to PMO. The cycle will continue. If you end the cycle, the insomnia will end with time. A fellow worrier from your words, the best thing to assist in that situation is to get out of bed , meditate or pray, do not give in to the irritation of being awake. Do not give in to those thoughts. The more you stress about not sleeping, the more irritated and wired you will become. This will stop you from going back to sleep. Well done on not giving in to PMO temptation, my friend.

 

Day 48

 

Day 2 complete. Taking it a day at a time. Inspirational reading all of your posts here. I have made this my homepage so I see it every time I open a tab.

 

Day 6

I had a lot of urges today, a lot of which had me very very close to relapsing. I was procrastinating really badly today so I'm convinced that all of the idle time I had today was the reason I had so many strong urges. I literally didn't do any of my usual daily routine stuff until like 2pm (I woke up at 9am for context) and so I just told myself to get up and I went out on a walk to my local park and did my Japanese flashcards while I sat by a lake which was super super peaceful and bliss. But, the moment I got home I had urges again. I worked out because I was really struggling to just sit with these urges today, the urges were sort of going away but they lingered a bit for the entire work out. Luckily, my Mum came into the room and so I talk to her for a bit (not about the urges, just general conversation) which made the urge go away completely. I then showered which was really nice, but again the urge came back, I got really close to relapsing again but I watched some YouTube videos to distract me which, again, helped but the urge came back and, again, I nearly relapsed but I decided to go downstairs and I studied in the living room so I wasn't just sat on my own in my room. I then played a little of a new game I bought recently on Steam for the rest of the night.
I just need to actually do my routine instead of vegging out on YouTube and stuff. If I keep consistent in my activities my urges become very manageable.

 

day 31
I reduce my activities on youtube, instagram to avoid the posibilities of fishing and is working.
I try to enter just once on the day.

 

Day 17 check-in. I'm living the longest streak of my life

 

Day 210

 

420 days

 

At the brink of two weeks!
I've been feeling fine. It seems that irges are somehow easier to resist. There's always something good to be done instead of pmoing, and I'm glad I have seen those things around me and I've been able to manage it kinda well.

 

I'm back to Day 1 complete.

Yesterday I felt almost overwhelmed by guilt and frustration related to this addiction. I couldn't believe how badly I was still struggling in spite of my best efforts. Just tonight I had a thought, though, which is that one day clean is still one day clean, and it's way better than a day that I sacrifice to PMO. No matter how long we have to work to achieve freedom, at least we're working.

 

You are right; the path to being a white wizard is won a day at a time. These little streaks add up. You just need to get to orc 500 times.

I have decided that I will make completing this challenge my top priority because like you I am not getting younger and I need my mind clear, and body strong to complete the other goals I have. PMO just destroys that and keeps a guy stuck in adolescence almost..

 

I have been preparing for the Balrog for a long time!

 

Haven't typed these words in quite some time. I am an elf again

 

Day 52... I edge slightly deeper into this eternal, black chasm. In many ways it reflects the world right now; who can say what will happen or what it holds?

 

10 days.

Cold is pretty much gone, and yesterday I even visited a friend. We ate some good food and played some music.

 

Caught myself fishing last night. But didn't give in and went to bed.

Day 22 - The village of Bree.