I've seen a lot of posters on this site and elsewhere suggesting to develop "thick skin" so you aren't as affected by anything. I feel like this is entirely the wrong mindset. One of the goals of nofap should be about reclaiming our sensitivity, to be able to engage with the world in all of its subtleties and energies. No more of this death grip stuff. Developing thick skin can serve to only numb us and make us plunge right back into all the same toxic situations, just with less feeling involved. The only way to beat these toxic situations is to train yourself to avoid them, to train your consciousness, willpower, and intention to entirely avoid those places that tend to get under your skin. Instead of developing thick skin, i suggest trying to emanate an "aura" around you that literally deflects negativities from touching you, and yet is able to receive positive energy onto your still sensitive skin. Thick skin is a trap!
To put this all in video game / RPG terms, I would suggest putting more skill points into speed, evasion, and counterattack, and put less skill points into [passive] armor. You would become a better, more engaged player this way and rely more on your own personal power.
Very nice example there. That explains it perfectly. Indeed thick skin can be misinterpreted. The goal isn't to not be affected by anything, you indeed need to regain your emotions but in the same time, you need to control your emotions and not let them deeply affect you. And while you do all of that, you need to learn skills on how to avoid negativities from happening in your life.
Fair enough. To continue the video game analogy, you could try to implement "thick skin" in a more active and less passive way by making the armor an ability you can turn on and off at will, perhaps only for a limited time to deflect a particularly nasty attack. This way, the "thick skin" is a mark of intention and true strength, and not merely a shell you've adapted from being abused too much. Personal preferences can come in here, and i've always been the "glass cannon" type myself.
I meant to say that the goal isn't to not be affected by anything. The goal certainly isn't to be numb to things. I corrected myself in the original post. And yeah, the armor needs to be only a shell for nasty attacks. But the important thing is to learn skills to completely avoid bad situations.
My life at the Moment is like “Horizon Zero dawn “I “focus “on becoming a better man a better husband . I wan't to be and I will be.
keep it up. i like to think that stronger urges means your strength to resist the urges is also greater
when im doing great with the nofap disapline, i find i have lots of tolerance, patience with negativity, bad attitudes towards me , it doesnt shake me, i also notice how im very senstive to others feelings, my empathy is heightened to always notice when someone is in the dumps etc, im quick to find out how i may assist them,
If you're detached all the time from emotions, good or bad, you dont need to be tough, even in a world that claims to be...I think guys who go round puffing out their chests and acting all aggressive are actually weak. Weakness is, after all an inability to control yourself. Aggressive people have little discipline, their heads are all over the place, have no focus, not grounded, they're just drifting like lumps of shit.