I am the onlyone who feel angry and duped

Hey davee. I'm glad your life has improved so drastically - your post is very uplifting. Don't feel stupid or be angry at anyone though.
Only when we accept full responsibility for what we do to ourselves can we truly be free and in control.

 

It is great to hear about your recent successes and recovery. I think perhaps the biggest oversight may have been to let these problems persist for 25 years without resolving them. When you recognize that something is wrong, it is super important to take a proactive stance and work toward a solution before too much time passes and damage is done. Too many people fall into the trap of adapting to their surroundings when they should react to them instead. Adapting is too close to coping, but reacting with smart thinking and proper action gives you more control over your surroundings and life.

 

Hey Davee, I'm also mad that I couldn't shake my chains sooner too. It's baffling that I was not able to do it alone. There's been lost time, relationships, among other regrets. I'm growing, one day at a time, and finding a common purpose! For me, none of the regret, shame, anger has been able to last forever, especially after sharing it with others. When I share whatever is getting at me, it melts away. Thanks for the post, I feel like this is a topic I need to think more about.

 

Hi @davee! Have you read any books regarding PMO addiction? I can recommend you "The Porn Trap" (http://amzn.to/1QS9l6g) and "Breaking the Cycle" (http://amzn.to/1LQu3iv). What you're experiencing is quite normal, to be angry with yourself for the time lost. But now that you're in this positive state, you should keep reading and keep developing strategies, as you say "I could never imagine doing PMO or even M again". That's a very good feeling, but if we don't have a good plan, sooner or later, a relapse happens. It happened to me after almost one year of being MO/PMO free and it has happened to others aswell:
http://www.nofap.com/forum/index.ph...er-a-long-period-and-what-did-you-learn.47904

 

Very good insight and I am sorry for your plight. It is very hard to see gaps in our own understanding (a fish doesn't have any idea it is in water). In your case you have great perspective now but at a great cost. nofap aims to provide that perspective at a much lower cost. I have gone 20+ years myself without really entertaining the idea that there might be a problem with MO (or PMO). Sorting out the essence of a problem is difficult in much the same way. It took us a long time as a culture to find out that it wasn't the flapping of a birds wings that allows it to fly.
I believe much of this is a cultural problem (it definitely is in the US). Sexuality is often not openly discussed, even in the context of a two person relationship. There is a stigma in many circles placed on masturbation. On the other hand you have porn, which is so incredibly open, it is almost lashing out at everyone and has achieved quite the ubiquity. Neuroscience is still in its infancy and awareness of the problems with porn addiction are just now opening up to the masses educationally. I think the psychology and general study of addiction should be taught at a young age so that people have a better awareness of what they are up against. Too many people must face addiction for the first time under pretty rough circumstances.