Horny right now. Some thoughts what would stop me from relapsing right now

Right now, I've made it to 7 days without PMO, which is very great.

Quitting PMO can really be easy if you see that there are no benefits from PMO.

We are not giving up something. It's not a sacrifice we make if we give up PMO. The only thing we do here is to give up that cycle of self-torture.

 

"Your parents argue right now, just have a fap to numb your emotional pain"

Here, the argument is a different one than when I was talking about stressful situations. Situations take place. You are stressed about a test. You are stressed about a trip. You are stressed about an interview.

But here, the motivation to PMO is not a stressful situation, but emotional pain you feel because e.g. your parents argue, you are being bullied, a breakup, the death of a loved one, etc.

We should not forget the fact that PMO is contributing to your sexual frustration. So, indeed, it absolutely can be used as a temporary relief from heavy emotions, but remember that right after your PMO sessions, those heavy emotions will come back plus the additional sexual frustration.

It's kind of like with eating ice cream or junk food in such a situation. It might temporarily help, but afterwards, you still feel the same emotional pain and additionally you gained a few pounds, too.

The better thing here would be to do something to actually try to cope with this emotional pain, and not having to distract yourself from it.

So, basically, we would need to become mentally tougher in some way.

I must admit, I don't see a way how to do it, how to become mentally tougher. The only thing which comes into my mind is the Wim Hof Method and cold showers, but that's about it.

Nevertheless, PMO is not the right thing to do here, as you will end up worse than before.

 

"Just treat PMO as a hobby, as something to do if you're bored and have nothing better to do"

How can self-torture be a hobby?

 

"But PMO is fun! Partying is also fun, even if you may feel a little shitty afterwards!"

That's something which keeps appearing in my head all the time right now.

My answer to that is simple: it's still not worth it. It's not worth the sexual frustration afterwards. I know, I'm gonna have fun, but once I finish, everything is still the same plus the sexual frustration.

There are other ways to have fun without feeling frustrated.

I will not engage in thoughts about things I won't get anyway. I will not make myself feel more frustrated on purpose.

You know what's really satisfying? Managing your hard reality without having to escape, to know that you're tough enough to handle it instead of PMOing it away.

 

"But PMO is fun! Partying is also fun, even if you may feel a little shitty afterwards!"

It's still not worth it. I don't wanna feel shitty afterwards. I never want to feel shitty in the first place, whether it's after a party, or after a long PMO session. The fun I get from these activities is not worth the shitty feeling. I want to have fun and not feel shitty!

 

There is also one aspect I've not yet thought about: What if you just start missing PMO?

I know, that it's bullshit. That it's kind of like Stockholm syndrome, where you love someone who does you harm.

I also start to feel like "missing a limb", or just exactly as if I was on a diet not eating any junk food.

The thought that "I will never experience PMO again" is just haunting. Just as if someone would say to you: "You'll never gonna eat pizza again"

The only scenario I could accept this would be if I'd be poor. Like 100 years ago, when people had meat only once a week, and often it was only the man eating the meat so he has the strength to keep working hard physically for the week.

So I kind of have to imagine, to be comfortable with never ever PMOing again, that I am like 100 years back in the past. It's hard to do because we all are living like kings right now compared to our ancestors 100 years ago

It sounds silly and stupid, but sometimes I kinda wish life would be hard (doable, but hard) for me, like having to work physically 6 days a week, you know, kind of like 100 years ago.

Maybe then, eating a meat ball once a week would be just like PMOing (without the post-nut frustration). Maybe then simpler things would be worth more.

I don't know. I know that PMO is an abuser, I know we all have Stockholm syndrome with something which will leave you more frustrated, which is essentially self torture.

I just can't imagine going without PMO for the rest of my life, just like I can't imagine not eating pizza for the rest of my life.

I mean, it's stupid, you can't imagine not torturing yourself for the rest of your life.

I will try to repeat it as a mantra, "PMO IS SELF TORTURE". I honestly don't know what else I could do.

 

We are frustrating ourselves on a regular basis, not just PMO, but also by other things. This comic I've found on our subreddit shows what I mean by "PMO is self torture"

You could even say that other things like junk food, movies which make you feel sad that your life is not like that movie, etc can also make us end up more frustrated afterwards. I'm gonna think about it

 

I saw this comic a few years ago. Looking at it now, I realize just how perfectly it describes the never ending cycle of samsara. The wheel keeps turning, and we think that the next action will be enough. But it always has another card up its sleeve.

 

I kid you not, I've just created a thread in the Buddhism subreddit if what I've described is something already implemented in Buddhism

So I'm basically using Samsara to NoFap, reminding myself that the next action will never be enough, so I don't even bother getting into that cycle of suffering again?

 

In that specific context, sure. But samsara is way more encompassing than that, because it involves all action, especially desire-based action. In Hinduism and Buddhism, the ideal goal of action (or karmic yoga) is what we call disinterested action. In other words, we can perform the action, but we are not entitled- nor should we desire or grasp after- the fruit of the action.

There's a really good book that talks about stuff like this as a commentary on the Bhagavad Gita. It's called Paths to God by Ram Dass, one of my favorite spiritual teachers.

 

I just made a thread discussing a technique I developed to deal with urges. I decided to write about it because I found Your Brain on Porn's "red X" method to be insufficient.

 

I will read later about it, now I'm going to bed