Being addicted since 6 years old, now i'm 27. 4 months ago i've discovered my addiction, read about it, made my research, found budism, all to make me an aware person, concious. A lot of mistake that cost me my relationship that lasted 4 years, just when i though i was overcoming everything. 4 months of nofap, and still going, but the sadness from my break up is deep. All the projects, all the effort, and my life now seems so different and scary. Suffer four panic attacks this week, maybe another one tomorrow, but im keep going. Won't comeback to that hole. My promise is on me, there's a big hole inside me but i know it can be fill up. Time would give me something eventually, maybe she will comeback, or maybe not. Sometimes you need to be strong for yourself, not anyone else. This is our battle and suffering, no one elses. Let the emotions flow, and allow you to feel discomfort. Then the happiness make it's way to us.
This is a very nice post, thank you. I think when we give up an addiction all kinds of things can come to the surface in our minds we have to deal with because the addiction was blocking them out. In our case porn was blocking emotions from coming to the surface so we didn't have to deal with them. Now that porn is gone there is room for the emotions to be present and we have to deal with them. This is not a bad thing because once they are dealt with we can continue on our path of freedom and happiness. Stay strong my friend
Exactly, we were so use to not proper feel anything than when it comes the time to do it, those emotions are intense and soffocating almost. Thanks for your words!
This is perfectly true. As humans we have found so many ways to block unpleasant emotions, whether it is through porn or alcohol or drugs, gambling, shopping, eating junk food, watching tv, social media. These are all blockers to the emotions if used excessively and without restraint. Then when we give them up we are overloaded with emotions that should have been making themselves known naturally as they occur.
Wow - great going! I thought that I started young at 10 but I guess this addiction does not discriminate against age. Massive inspiration to me!