Day 419 One year and a few days ago I started cold showers. One of the good decisions in my life. Improves your health and lowers your urges.
Everything went well for 2 days but I didn't have a plan to deal with a urge and so when a strong one came I failed . Day 0....
Day 3 complete! My philosophy studies are kicking my butt right now. Stress is high, so I'm being very careful that I don't try to self-medicate with PMO, but I think this could work in my favor as well. If I remember that I have a lot of work to do and that I will need the full power of my brain to accomplish it, I will be less tempted to waste time and energy on PMO. That stuff doesn't help with anything at all! @Redemptionisrequired I'm sure you've explained this somewhere before, but what do you mean by exposure? St. Joseph of Cupertino, pray for us!
Day 2 complete! Had some minor urges yesterday, but nothing to bad. I kept myself busy all day and went early to bed. Prioritizing sleep and trying to sleep for as much as possible. Because like most of you, little sleep is a huge trigger and devastating for discipline and willpower. Today, after work, I am going to put together a plan for the next week with some habits. Need a good morning routine etc. Have you tried melatonin pills? They work great for me. I take 2-3 mg the nights I can’t sleep. As far as I have read, they also have none/little bi-effects as they are a natural sleep hormone.
Day 2 Urges to do it more and more after my recent relapse. It feels gone now. No I didn't turn into a Nazgûl after all. PMO forces almost got me. I'm still here. Fighting. Keep on going Fellowship!
Day 38 no PMO. 2nd night in the hotel went fine. I got a little upset yesterday at my meeting and felt that so was in a potential relapse situation but I called my wife and talked to her about the situation that made me upset and she helped me see another side and made me feel much better. Tonight will be the last night of this trip. Anxiety is high but I feel I can make it one more night. Wish me luck.
Checking in Fellowship friends! 78 Days Free of PMO. Yesterday was interesting, I got some great feedback from clients and my leaders which felt nice. The end of the day lead to a higher degree of stress, I had a very difficult case that I had to work on. I did feel some urges in the middle of the night, likely my mind trying to combat the stress with it, as well as combat some anger that surfaced. I did not give in and I understand that its all a fake handout, proposed by my addict mind as a solution. I called it out and just let it be. Stay strong! @Gallade_Templar No problem brother, below is what I mean. What I mean by exposure, is expanding my comfort zone. Exposure to the things that makes me feel uneasy, fearful and anxious. The reasoning behind that, is to teach myself that I am capable. Honing the skill of courage in the face of uncertainty and discomfort. When we face our fears, big or small, there is a compound effect that occurs. It makes us braver and more confident on a larger scale. One day, I'll write a more detailed post about what these fears are and at that time hopefully from "are" it will be "were".
check in brain improving slowly, had very heavy brain fog that I was not even able to communicate with strangers clearly.
yeah, i tried them. but usually they give me sleepiness the next day. so i change to camomile, lemon balm, or linden tea. i drink half a liter at night, and it helps a lot. I also do the austin goh tecnique when in bed, to reinforce sleep. Against insomnia anything goes!!