Going on a 50 day streak

Wow, it's great idea to motivate yourself by your voice. Gonna try it myself!

 

I accept the challenge! 8/50

 

Yeah! Let's fight this fight together brother

 

Great on you too! Though congrats probably isn't warranted yet, seems the urges aren't going anywhere hah. Seriously though, life without them feels so surreal... wish we'll get there one day.

That's the mindset, you can make it, never give up!

btw how are you doing @Blackshut, you holding up alright? let us know please

 

Day 6 is here. Just woke up and I succeeded another day. Had strong urges this morning, but knew to resist them. But had absolutely NO urges yesterday and even felt sick thinking about porn.

I have an appointment with the doctor today to help me with my porn addiction. This will be an intense ride, but I'm all in. I've had therapy before regarding my ADHD, and it's really great to have someone who helps you through it. I'm lucky to have my GF who helps me through it, but otherwise I don't think I couldn't have done it as decisively as I'm doing it now.

I realized that this disease called porn addiction goes so much deeper than you think. It's in the micro thoughts, the split seconds where a thought about porn enters your mind. It really rots your brain away to the point that you get really depressed.

Haven't been running yesterday, but this is on my planning for today.

Yet again: I succeeded!

 

Day 7. I succeeded but had quite some urges. Went to the doctor (General Practioner) for my porn addiction but got triggered by her butt. I got fantasies about it and even went as far as looking her up online, but when I noticed that I was going down the wrong path I stopped it immediately. Furthermore, the doctor wasn't able to do anything. She listened, but didn't take me seriously because it isn't extreme enough and am taking too many steps by myself. Am considering to switch doctors and to go to the specialized addiction therapists by myself. If I say I need help, than I need help!

Saw my GF yesterday and felt really guilty about the fantasies. I had a lot of trouble speaking about it and avoided eye contact. She saw it immediately and drew this out of me. It was difficult for her to accept, but we spoke it out and moved passed it. We ended up kissing and she said she felt even a deeper attraction than before. Mainly because my honesty, but also because I'm not wasting my life and soul on mindlessly PMO'ing. She actually wanted more, but I stopped it, as I don't yet want to interfere with my NoFap progress.

Furthermore, set out to run yesterday, but was caught up with my job. Some urgent things came to the table and I have to finish those first.

Temptation was there, but I conquered it yet again. Success!

 

Hey Blackshut, sorry I haven't been on the forms in a while, are you okay? What ended up happening with this situation? How much money did you get scammed for?

Hope you figured it out man life is worth living you just have to learn from your mistakes

 

Day 8. No urges whatsoever yesterday. Had a busy day with my job during the day and an event in the evening. Spoke to my GF about a weird sex dream I had, and we took the time to speak some things through of previous days. Came home tired, watched Netflix and went to bed.

 

Day 9 has arrived.

Had a good day yesterday, because I was too busy to think about anything else than my job.

I met my friend in the evening, went out for dinner and had a few (alcohol free) drinks in the bar. Haven't been out in a while and was already tired from the workweek, so I felt very uncomfortable. There was this overwhelming fear that I might fantasize about girls in the bar, which didn't happen at all, and that I had to deal with the same feelings and temptations as Wednesday. I tried avoiding it at all costs and in a moment of honesty, I told my GF. This was a very unclear and vague message and and we spent two hours clearing the air of misunderstandings that arose in us.

This morning I felt a greater temptation that usual to PMO, but I didn't do it

Success!

 

I relapsed... on day 50 hah. It wasn't with porn but I don't think that matters. Woke up after a wet dream which was kinda broken and I finished it myself anyway.. guess I forgot after all that time of abstinence that it really isn't worth it, that it really has no value... I mean, I still knew it theoretically, but practically it disappeared, I no longer truly understood the emptiness of those things... well, guess I'll have to try again until I find a way to make it stay, to stop unconsciously feeding myself horny lies. Never give up!

 

Day 10! No urges yesterday. Met my GF and we went out for a daytrip to a neighboring city. It was good to do something fun and we spent a lot of time talking and laughing. At a certain moment we had a moment of miscommunication which caused her to go on a angry rant for 15 minutes. We talked about it, she apologized and we moved on.

The evening we kissed and had a lot of difficulty not to go further. When she went back home, I didn't had the urge to PMO at all, but this morning I woke up touching myself. I stopped it and started my day.

 

I started to realize on day 10 that porn goes much deeper than only the video on the screen. When being addicted, it's all you think about. You are rewiring your brain. And if it took 20+ years to wire it with porn, than you probably need to anticipate that it takes a bit longer than 50 days to rewire it.

It's great that you did 49,5 days! Try again!

 

Yeah, realizing that as well. It's sort of telling when you fall asleep and dream a

Spoiler

pedo incest wet dream

hah... and yet you're so aroused you don't even care. It seems to me this is the worst part, when you're so out of touch with reality that you don't even pay it attention. It fucks us up worse than we can even imagine.

And I mean, I wasn't expecting to be "cured" after 50 days at all, but I'm surprised that I fell back into it as if nothing changed during all that time. (That's an update after two PMO sessions in 24 hours.) When I started that streak I had my mind quite made up regarding porn and all that shit and I forgot all that too.. basically 50 days later I'm back where I started. Finally understand the people who've been on here for years... it probably really does take that long to recover.

 

I read some earlier posts of some of the ancients on this forums and they say exactly this! They start out with a clear feeling and have made up their mind, but along the way you need to keep on remembering that you made that choice. We forget the severity of our addiction and that's what makes this hard. We let things slide too soon and that gives room for the porn to come back. Rewriting yourself costs a lot of time. But it also matters from where you come when you do the challenge. Do you come from 5 hour daily PMO sessions when you decide to do NoFap or do you come from watching porn twice a week when you decide to start your NoFap challenge? That's really different for all of us.

Nevertheless man, 49,5 days is mighty impressive! Keep on keeping on. I'm sure you'll find ways to remind yourself of the severity that go far beyond this 50 day challenge.

 

And for what it's worth, in my book you've passed the challenge. Because it's not about these 50 days, and you're not back at square one.

You've shown to yourself that you can do what you set your mind too. Maybe not yet as succesfully as you expect from yourself, but there is always room from growth.

I remember a story about the Boddhisatva who also got a wet dream after meditating in a cave for 4 years. He made clear mark to himself and continued.

 

Day 11.

A few urges, as I met my GF in the afternoon. I had a busy day, so no time to be bored and be tempted.

Didn't take the time to work-out, but set out to do it this week. And I also plan to go to bed earlier. I see that both reduces the risk of relapse greatly.

 

Thanks man! Messages like this give a boost in motivation to keep on doing it

 

Seems to me the vast majority of us come from the former group... it makes sense because masturbating twice a week for half an hour you won't notice the effects, it has to intensify and escalate first.

Thanks for the support man Best of luck to you too!

 

Hi!

I'm on day 24 and would love to join in and post every 5 days (starting day 30)

 

Welcome to the thread. I'm posting every day, because I feel that it makes me more accountable. And that's different for everyone of us