My history again?

That resistance is typical. It's a result of the original sin. We people simply tend to choose whatever is pleasant, light, effortless, comfortable ... etc. And a decision to deny and reject pmo acts, is always felt as something unpleasant, hard, difficult, demanding major effort, uncomfortable, stressful ..etc. That's why our body and brain protest each time we want to take them back something pleasant.

We can't destroy this mechanisms inborn in us. The only thing we can do is to reduce it. But how to reduce it? If we people could reduce it on our own, by efforts of our will, by asceticism and some plan realised each day ... then Jesus would be needless, His sufferings and death would be needless for us.

That's why Jesus had to suffer and be killed. it was because only His grace can reduce the strength of that mechanism in us. And how to obtain the grace?
faith, prayer, sacraments, good deeds - they reduce the working of the mechanism. So only God can reduce it in us. There is no other means. God works on our will when we pray and He reduces its resistance to do something good but difficult and unpleasant. God even can give our will some pleasure when we are doing something unpleasant. For example a marathon runner does something very hard, difficult and unpleasant (this long distance) but he can experience something pleasant too - that is satisfaction that he finished the run or that he broke a record or won it etc.
God can give us satisfaction even in temptation - when we for example overcome temptation or even when we pray in temptation. I experienced it sometimes.

 

It's the same but it has many names. We can say - the resistance of our will or our will inclined to sin. We could call it the hardness of our heart or weakness of our will or our bad will and many other names. Even if you weren't an addict you would experience the bad working of the resistance. For example it's lazyness when we want to do our everyday duties.

God works on our will, soul, emotions, thoughts , mind when we pray.
When we don't pray the resistance, hardness of heart, inclination to sin work in us producing bad thoughts, negative emotions and as a result bad deeds (acts). That's why we are called to pray unceasingly.
1 Thessalonians 5, 16-18:
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 

Words of Jesus in a private revelation to a woman - Alicja Lenczewska, approved given to public for the benefit of believers by a theological commission and our bishop. The book with the revelation becomes more and more popular among Catholics in my country - Poland.

''SŁOWO POUCZENIA - A WORD OF INSTRUCTION''
Alicja Lenczewska

'' It is bad when there is no constant prayer in your heart, from which your daily life flows - your thoughts, reactions, and actions. When you are praying, everything flowing from you is love and mercy, which is also My wisdom and peace. When it's silent inside you, and prayer - a conscious striving for unity with Me - is absent, you remain with your human emptiness and become a shadow of original sin. It may even be that through this emptiness, the evil spirit comes and manifests itself in you.

Now your heart is open to the spiritual life and to the action of the Holy Spirit, but it is also open to the action of other spiritual beings who do not bring peace and love. Therefore, you can no longer live carelessly in the world as you used to because the threat is even greater. It is said that where sin abounds, grace abounds. However, this law also works in the opposite direction, where grace has spilled, the action of evil spirits and their temptations has increased.

There can be no empty moments in your heart and thoughts, nor time preoccupied with external matters that flow from the world, without consciously abiding in Me - without the inner state of prayer. So, my child, be careful that the intensity of your inner life increases and there is no decrease in the inner tension of love and devotion to your God. As long as you live on earth, you cannot rest in this striving and effort. You can only rest in Me when I give rest to your soul immersed in prayer.

Everything good and creative in you is born of Me - from communing with Me in prayer, from unity with Me in your life. Not from knowledge about Me, moral principles, and prohibitions of the Decalogue, or your resolutions and participation in religious ceremonies.''

 

I am married and I am a father and a grandfather. Certainly, I see my role to lead my family, together with my wife, to Christ. Based on the results to date, I have failed miserably in that regard but I have not given up. However, I also wonder how my professional career was helpful to God's plan? Finally, I concluded that God used me as an example to others. Certainly, many times I was not the example He wanted me to be but hopefully in a few rare instances I was. We each have a role in God's army but it can be hard to see what the role is. If nothing else, our role begins with doing His will as closely as possible.

 

This is one of those things which I felt but have never read in such explicit words before. It causes me to consider my motivation for going to mass. I know I have been guilty of viewing it as an obligation instead of seeing it as an opportunity to draw closer to Christ and partake of His Body and Blood.

Thanks for sharing these words, they are certainly thought provoking.

 

Everyone needs help at one time or another and sometimes for an extended time. Personally, I feel we should all seek help when we need it but I don't think we should put blind faith in everything a doctor says. IMO, we must recognize that modern medicine is not completely altruistic and unbiased nor are all physicians faithful Catholics.

Before you mention this matter to your psychiatrist, perhaps you could ask if he or she is Catholic and if not, will they respect your Catholic faith when offering a treatment plan? Based on their response, you should have some more information on which to base your decision about revealing your problems with M.

When Christ sent his apostle out into the world he told them “I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore, be as cunning as serpents and yet as innocent as doves." I don't mean to be paranoid but I interpret this to mean that we need to remain wary of the motivations of those who have not yet proven their trustworthiness.

I hope this is helpful. I will pray for you, please pray for me too.

 

I agree with CPilot on this one. There are even many people on this forum who are not practicing Christians who are here because they can't find resources. They can't find the resources because the majority of secular psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and so on believe porn addiction isn't real. If you do talk to the psychologist I would be prepared to be disappointed by their being dismissive - or even encouraging you to "get comfortable" with PMO instead of fighting it.

I had a very moving confession with a priest about this problem once. Later, I contacted him out of the blue and asked for a meeting outside the confessional to discuss it further. He did it, no questions asked, and gave me some confidential support that I really needed in that moment. You might want to consider that route. (Edit - I noticed you're female, you may be more comfortable discussing with a Nun or maybe a laywoman of the church that you find trustworthy. Same idea though.) Also I know many churches run SAA meetings.

Last suggestion - I am part of one of the weekly support groups here on nofap and it's been a huge help. But - it's 100% secular. Even so it's still a great source of solidarity and understanding.

 

You can find info about them here: https://nofap.com/groups/

 

They're call in groups that happen once a week - you can join by video on your PC or by dialing in on your phone (I usually call in). It's anonymous and the calls are an hour long. Everyone gives a check in talking about how you've done that week, basically whatever you want. Some people talk a long time, some people only for a minute or two. There's no pressure to talk about anything in particular. If there's time left over in the hour we have open discussion, usually related to fighting PMO or expanding on something someone said during their check-in.

The guys who run it are really kind and patient and the group is very supportive. There is a monthly fee, though.

I understand, it's a very uncomfortable topic, especially in person.

 

I can inquire if they do (or are thinking about) calls in other languages. We have a few people on my call (Thursdays) that speak English as a second language. I don't log into the zoom meeting but my understanding is there is a group chat going in there alongside the call. We also have a Telegram that we use.

 

I tried to quit committing this sin for decades. Shame and excuses I made about insufficient time kept me from seeking in-person help other than through the confessional. Frankly, I feel that if I had sought outside help much sooner I would not have wasted so many years trying to work it all out by myself.