i binged a lot these past couple of days to disgusitng shit and fell back into gross habits. Im really scared. I dont see a way out this time. I want to end it all
I'm really sorry to hear that. Guilt and shame are inevitable during times like this. But mistakes don't define who we are. A huge part of what does define us though is how we handle failure and how we learn from our mistakes. Feel free to.msg me anytime, my friend.
Same fucking thing just happened. I dont even feel mad or sad. Im just ready to end my life. Obviously i cant, my mom would be sad. I ordered a new phone and my brain considers my current phone "corrupted". Maybe a new phone will help. I also plan on asking a girl for her number tomorrow. I have nothing left to lose anymore. I dont know if my brain will ever heal.
Be easy on yourself bro. None of us are perfect at this. Have some compassion and understand you're human. Also, there is an immense amount of hope here in this community. However, recovery takes action...every, single, day. There's hope, so please hang in. Use this community, it's forums, it's members, and it's resources to help you. We are here for you bro...you're not alone!
Come on, man. You have a lot to lose. First off, only knowing what you've posted here, your mom loves you and cares about you. You need to get into some therapy! Therapy has such a horrible stigma. So many people who know nothing about therapy and have never gotten therapy talk about people who use therapy as if we're just reject reprobates, and I hate that it happens all the time. Regardless, therapy with a useful therapist helps immeasurably!!! Also, the 12 step SA program helps even more, just in different ways! I will never be able to adequately express just how much either has helped me, not just with my addiction but other issues in life as well. I STRONGLY recommend BOTH!
There is always a way out. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and TAKE ACTION. If you've got the time and energy to fap then you've the time and energy to do other things. Today is a brand new day. Yesterday is yesterday. Start now.
100% this! What I say each and every day in this community...TAKE ACTION! Recovery from this debilitating addiction does not happen on its own...it requires hard work and dedication each and every day. Thanks for reiterating what I try to say everyday...action, action, action! Wishing you, and everyone else, the absolute best!