Post published by Buddhabro

I’ve struggled with depression for most of my life. I sought out psychiatric care in my early 20’s and had positive results after being prescribed an antidepressant.
Recurring bouts with depression have been quite debilitating and increasingly difficult to overcome.
After struggling to overcome the challenges associated with my depression no less than 6 times, I am now facing the same situation again.
Issues of abandonment, isolation, and ostracism have plagued me my whole life. I have learned to live with it, and have even experienced periods of success and happiness.
I lost my job quite unexpectedly (about a year and a half ago), and under suspicious circumstances for the second time in my life. I didn’t think I could survive another traumatic disappointment, but here I am again.
I am plagued by suicidal ideations on a daily basis, and at the lowest point of my life (which is saying a lot).
I’m posting here now because today has been especially rough for me.
I’m worried that if I fail at this reboot challenge I will not be able to go on.
I have tried several different medications and been seeing mental health care practitioners almost continuously over the past 21 years.
It has been extremely hard for me this time around. I had worked hard to come back and regain my health and well-being and have been having difficulty eating well and exercising. In fact over the past 18 months, I have struggled to get out of bed (much less the house).
I thought about giving up my current reboot attempt today, but even the thought of it scared me tremendously.
PMO was all I had, and now I feel rebooting is my only hope.
Should I just give up? I hoping to find help from someone who has had similar struggles and found their way back from the depths of depression through NoFap and rebooting.
Thanks for sharing and taking part in the struggle to be PMO free.