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Post published by timetomoveforward88
Been a strange few days grappling with my mind. I’m almost on 4 weeks, but the last week has been the hardest so far. There is a sense of loss, that sounds weird but on a level I don’t want to stop PMO and then I remind myself how negative this addiction is and why I’m stopping. Being present and increasing my awareness, being with the frustration and craving and trying to let it pass is hard. There is a part that wants this to be over so that I can enjoy PMO again, like eating junk food after a workout.
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more_vert
Vedas_fr
I was in the same spot as you and then left myself indulge, because i thought that it was my body telling me to release the pressure. However i regreted it as i experienced post ejaculatory symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety and weakness... i think something is wrong with my body. Do you get those symptoms too?
more_vert
timetomoveforward88
Fortunately I haven’t relapsed, but perhaps mentally I have- I’ve thought about porn, quite desperately and then later feel like I’ve allowed that untamed process in my brain to manipulate me. As soon as I’m aware of what’s happened, I realise I CAN choose- as difficult as it is. The same process as mindfulness of breathing, when meditating you return to focus on your breath each time your minds wanders towards something more ‘interesting’.
more_vert
timetomoveforward88
Fortunately I haven’t had a relapse. Not sure about insomnia and anxiety, but would feel hopeless and upset I guess. Those symptoms all start on a chemical level in the brain - that is why mindfulness meditation is helpful as it helps you control the urges which begin in your brain. My brain is hungry for dopamine and I feel a loss by not having it! You choose to change it by simply being present, acknowledging it, letting it be and not attaching to it. It’s a workout for your mind and it will strengthen over time. Keep strong.
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