Post published by thatsingleindividual#K-13

I just joined the Roman Catholic Fapstronauts. I've been wanting to share and explain my situation to fellow Catholics. I am a convert. I joined the church last year on the 31st of March, 2018. I do not regret my decision in doing so but I will admit, it has not been easy (and I feel like there's a lot of young converts like this out there). Despite my pride in being a Catholic, I have fallen away from my baptismal vows; I have been unfaithful. Despite the support I have, even from my 99% Protestant family (I'm the 1%), it has been a very lonely experience. Growing up in the Protestant Bible-Belt South, it is typical for a small town like mine to have only one Catholic church. Most of the people who go to the Catholic church are either people who moved here, Northerners, or they are converts like me. Nonetheless, I went to a church where I hardly know anyone. I am in Austria now as an exchange student and despite the country being totally Catholic, it does not help that much due to the further disconnection. I try to be a faithful Catholic, a faithful Knight of Columbus, and I really want to add into my identity here the term "Christian". I do not wish to be one of those that say "yeah, I'm a catholic but I'm rather bad at it" or someone who just nonchalantly shrugs their shoulders at admitting they are lapsed. I do not want to be that way! I want to be faithful! But like I've said, it's hard, especially on the lonely road. I do not want to say I'm addicted to pornography at this point. I used to be but now I want to say that the problems are more complexly spiritual/psychological; it has to do with disconnection and this is again, where I emphasize my problems in becoming a good Catholic Christian. I have joined the Catholic Fapstronauts on Nofap in order to connect with my Catholic Christian brothers and sisters in order to find some support, in order to obtain direction and love from those of you on here, especially you who can sympathize with my situation. There are at times where I do not seem to care and there are at times where I do what I do as if I didn't know any better, despite the fact that I do. I do! I know when I watch pornography, I am participating in a form of a prostitution, and am being deliberately unfaithful to Christ, my church, and my true self when I do these things. I have to remind myself that I am buying something cheap with a very heavy price on it.
But I want help and that is why I'm coming to you, my catholic brothers and sisters, so that you can support me in these tough times, and to seek encouragement for the sake of devotion. I'm lonely and I'm ignorant, and that makes a person definitely vulnerable enough to make him fall again and again. Please help me. Thank you and God bless.