Relapse looks the same for me everytime: I'm able to reboot for a period of time, maybe a week or 2, (1 month was my longest) and then slowly my attitude changes as my brain battles the cravings. As it gets more intense, the desire to use, begins to override the desire to stop. Eventually, I reach the point I like to call the "I don't give a F***" point. It seems impossible to avoid. It's the moment you no longer care about rebooting, and go back to PMO'ing. It Happens every time. Does anyone have advice in overcoming this, and getting back on track, avoiding the relapse?
I have similar struggles around the 2-3 mark. However, I did make 90 days a couple of years ago. In this period I was constantly (I mean daily) reading NoFap and related recovery materials to keep my mind focussed on the task in hand. It may be helpful to keep a journal so you can remind yourself how bad things get when you fap. When you reach the the "I don't give a F***" point it's worth examining what's going on in your life at this moment. Are you angry or resentful? Answering these questions may give you the insight you need to avoid triggering situations.
I'm the same way. Just like indiechaser said, read nofap everyday, keep a journal and focus on it, think about all the benefits you will lose and how bad you will feel right after and days after. I don't know about you but when I'm relapsing, literally in the second half of the O I'm already thinking 'Why the fuck did I do this' 'Wow this sucks' Not even enjoyable.
I found that a powerful tool was reminding myself of how shitty I feel, and all the ways I feel shitty after a fap. How I would always go "okay I'll do it this time to clear my head, and that's it, that's the last one." But after I would realise I'd been duped again, when I thought I was being calculated and logical. I would hate myself and feel like utter shit. So I eventually started thinking about the AFTER feeling, when the before feeling was starting to sway me.
I find the only way for me to deal with it is to get out the house and go for a drive or got to a mates house, it usually passes in time. It makes you realise how serious this addiction is, your brain literally possesses you. It's a test of character mate, you just have to battle through it
Motivation is like bath. We need it daily. Coming to this forum daily helps me remember why i'm doing no pmo. Reading threads in relapse forum is helpful.
Yeah ive tried abstaining to only relapse a few days or a week later COUNTLESS times,man. At the time it seems justified because you might have a headache, or you might be sick,or you might have blue balls or something (the possibilities are endless) but its a trial and error thing. Its easy to fall but the challenge is getting back up,and eventually you'll see that your moments of weakness are just tests, and when you fight that urge to cave in, you'll win the battle when you go back to not caring about PMO. Like a fapstronaut said on this site,to not care about PMO is WINNING PMO,which i think holds alot of truth Be good!
Thats exactly what i do when i wake up i spend time reading about why P is bad for you and then read on nofap also my accountablitly partner and i talk daily to checkin with each other and see how everything is going
For me, i learned to enjoy the cravings, sounds daft, but to associate the shitness with yourself healing, which it is. Except that its going to be shit, and its going to get worse, everyone who quits for good has to get through that stage.
Just get an accountability partner so you will have a conversation daily with someone who has similar goals as you
Figure out what it is that you're doing that leads to that point. Eliminate that, and you will stop relapsing. For me, it's time spent on the internet. Also, get an accountability partner. It isn't hard, and it's very helpful.
That is a simple but great idea. I notice at the moment of struggle I am always caught up in thinking about how damn good it will feel. I tried your advice today and it did help!
I could see that as a help. Instead of seeing the cravings as horrible, learn that those feelings are only a response, and try to look at it in a better way.