Lots of bad things happened and I allowed myself to sink into the abyss , anyways I think I should take it from here . I relapsed like 14 times in the past 4 days. don't know what happened but I didn't leave my house often chose to lie in my bed . I lost track of all my habits I have been following like exercise meditation and studying . I haven't taken a bath in the past 4 days ( I am serious , I can't believe it, I used to take 2 showers a day ). I kind of lost track of time , like I was in a infinite time loop , I didn't know the time fly by . Before this setback I used to get up at 4:30 and go to sleep at 10:30 pm , but now I get up like around 8 and go to sleep around 2 . I didn't even have my food at the right time , in the last 4 days I have skipped my breakfast twice. I think I am starting to develop some infections down there and it hurts even then I put it through pain. Ohhhh GOD ITS A LOOP WHICH GETS STRONGER EVERY MOMENT IF I DON'T TAKE ACTION. If I don't take action I will die like a loser , I want to make a comeback and am willing to give up everything for it. I mean bro I don't even know if I brushed my teeth in the morning, kind of I have lost all awareness. I must change and I will change ,so that I will be able to achieve the best out of my capabilities. NOTHING IS OVER , ITS JUST THE BEGINNING AND I AM BACK . MYTH _______________________________________________________________________________________________
Day 17 So far: cold shower, prayer, meditation, work. Today's a rest day for exercise. Today I'm happy and proud of myself for confronting a task that I've been avoiding and putting off for a while.
Downtown I went downtown to do some errands; it’s a bad place full of hookers, brothels and junkies. Those junkies are so out of their minds. I didn’t see the prostitutes do, I wasn’t interested, that dark world used to be so appealing for me, I had a lot of money in me. It wasn’t the best place to go around with money; they can kill you for it. I talked to the girl I’m seeing at the gym, she travels this weekend to see her mom, I’m starting to like her. Also this other girl told me to go see her, but I didn’t do it. This is when I know I like a girl, when simply I don’t search any other girls and I want to be faithful, I’ve always been faithful.
Checking in Fellowship friends! 219 days free of MO, 291 free of porn! Just a quick check in, a bit tired today, nothing spectacular really. I just took it easy today. Enjoy the weekend!
Day 36... I feel like I have so many different things I have to improve in that I can't move forward as I keep getting my attention pulled every which way. I've been listening to a lot of very successful people online that really make me feel I have to catch up to them. Maybe I just need to focus on one thing at a time? This is a recurring issue for me. I have noted that my skill level historically gets very high in things when I focus in only on that thing.
88 days. Felt quite stressed about work and life in general yesterday, having a hard time to know what to focus on (I feel you on that one @Talz ). Have a good weekend, friends!
Day 58 Feeling happy and energetic, but sometimes diverted by negative emotions. So i have to manage them I know. But I also know that negative emotions are too much powerful so I have to be cautious. Best of luck to all. Be on a path.
Day 6 I like this challenge very much. Yesterday I had a pretty constructive day. I went and I collected some papers, so I can start working yesterday. Had some emotional roller coaster, because next week I will move out from the apartment in which I grew up. Also played my guitar for hours. I feel some sort of positivity about this streak