Day 9 completed ... Normal Daily routine ... Too much too be done ... Perspective of life is coming back ... Had a dream of kissing a girl, don't even remember it now ... Weird tricks mind plays .... Stay strong guys ...
10/60. I realized a key point. I could always do 60 days. Then I fell and plunged into a long session over days. Then I felt so bad that I gave it up and could do 60 days again easily until it happened again. During the 60 days I could not imagine how I could have fallen. But now I realize a few things. If I allow myself to have sex once in a while I think the total collapse or plunge can be avoided. It’s still the plunge into the “forbidden”. These are patterns from a past live I believe where there may not have been desire. While I lived sex excessively in my life there is still this aspect in me. And I think that is the one causing the troubles in my case. I somehow reached a point where I find awareness. It maybe sounds strange. It’s difficult to express but quite clear in my head. It’s not only “knowing” and “living” sex freely but rather that any judgement is eliminated, sexuality is fully made part of me and learning to using it in correctly. I will complete the 60 days. But believe with this approach can actually go much longer or drop it all together.
Day 10 completed ... I would say I am reading too much on NoFap ... Will switch to the productive side ...
Day 11 completed ... Wasted lots of time yesterday ... Today is a new day ... Will live to the fullest potential...
I so unnecessarily fell back into doing it again. It was no urge just a stupid habit. So I start again today at 1/60