Within a 2-month period I have gone from using internet porn reflexively and habitually to almost viewing it as if it were the product of earth-dwelling demons. I have consumed porn of ever heavier genres for literally (& sadly!) many years. Now I could not watch a porn clip if you paid me. Nor do I any longer have interest in or temptation to MO. My sexual urges and motivation are now exclusively centered on PIV with my SO. What is perhaps more surprising is that I have no further desires for kinky sex. It is now plain vanilla sailing all the way. Even a desire for a good old fashioned BJ is a foreign country. The desire center of my brain feels fundamentally re-wired. In such a short time I find this remarkable. I'm eternally grateful to this forum for helping me see the way forward. I have recently conducted a few experiments on myself to see if I can be tempted to engage in my old destructive behaviors, and had no problem resisting. I look on my old self as somewhat a stranger. The only downside is that the escapism that goes with porn addiction did mask a few underlying problems which I now need to address. But I feel ready for that now. I hope my success story offers some small encouragement to anyone currently struggling to exorcise their own porn-demons. There is truly a promised land over the other side of the hill.
First of all congratulations on reaching this far! It's an amazing achievement Please don't conduct experiments to check if you can resist your addiction or not. Even though fire burns you would you still put your hands in the flames just to check if they cause a difference?
I agree that caution is warranted. But Plute appears to have slain his dragon. There is probably a therapeutic value to "proving" the monster is dead. I like his confidence and would bet on him in this war.
Guess you could proudly change your status now, eh? Hearty gratz mate, you've earned it. P.S : Do you remember me? You gave me some teaching advice for a competition I had?
I want to say thank you because your words are inspirational. I've been stuck with these demons for many years and because of it, I got porn-induced erectile dysfunction (PIED). It's my hope that I never get stuck again and that my PIED goes away. Have you ever had issues with PIED? Any words of wisdom and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks, friend.
Thank you for sharing and congratulations on your success!! Keep yourself on track! I'm right behind you!
Hmmm..... <<<cough>>> .... This is all very embarrassing... Well, remember the bit about not watching a porn clip even if you paid me? Or the no interest in MO part? Well, um..., how to say this? The funny thing is it turns out not to be true. This week I learned an important new recipe: Take half a dozen beers, an empty house and 1 bad day. Mix them all together in a human bowl and season with a big dose of over confidence. Blend on WiFi at full speed until done. Use any left-overs the following day... Humbled I have picked myself up off the floor of regret, dusted myself down and reset my counter to the Big Fat Zero. Thanks for all your nice messages earlier. I hope I can earn them all back... Onwards and upwards...
Get up. Get your self up! Get on track!! Follow your way towards your goals! It was just a slip. Don't worry!! What you have already done are not gone! You know the steps!! Follow them! Everyone in this great community is supporting you!
What @ncsest said! Now you know more than you did before. I've read relapses offer very valuable lessons that can be applied toward recovery. Thank you for being honest and vulnerable. Your experience underscores the need for everyone in recovery not to let their guard down and to remain humble and vigilant, even while feeling confident. I was just having a conversation with @RunningFree last night about this. Best wishes to you on your continued recovery!
Just a speed bump no doubt. I think once you start to get the urge under control, the mind will start to play tricks [as quoted below from your first post]. It's like you want to [perversely] prove your freedom to yourself by saying I can look at this and that and still not be affected. Personally, I think a moral code that declares the viewing of objectionable material as wrong to be helpful here.