It depends what you mean by 'realistic'. When you speak in the context of relationships, you are in the realm of the ideal. And then no, it gets nothing right. The viewing of pornography distorts the meaning of sex... no, obliterates the meaning of sex. Pornography is pernicious because it is de-humanizing. It's bestiality.
I haven't read this book, so I am not addressing anything that was said there. What I AM addressing is this idea, that wives should be blamed for their husbands using porn. A local leader of a mens' ministry at one of our churches told me he believes this. I feel sorry for the women in his church.
What a prat. How does he justify that nonsense. Let me see.... ummm... my wife has got a big butt from eating too much McDonalds and driving everywhere in my SUV.... I just don't find her attractive anymore...so I am going to get my needs met from the internets... because... because... its my right! Something right out of South Park right?
I don't think whether a woman engages in O or A sex with her partner has anything to do with him being a pmo addict. I did both with my ex addict partner in fact I did whatever he wanted nothing off limits. And if you look at the SO forum almost all of the women were game for whatever their man wanted. Pmo addiction has nothing to do with what your partner does or does not do in bed.
Man become insecure because they think woman these days don't like it when a man take the lead or is dominant but in reality woman like it. Thanx’s to modern feminism man think they need to be nice guys and let the woman decide. Let me be clear a woman likes a dominant confident man who takes the lead OF HIS OWN LIFE. I don’t mean by abusing or dominating a woman and giving her no freedom to get a career and so on. I am talking about proposing decisions taking the lead in relationships. Man these days aren’t a charismatic leader like they supposed to be wich causes a lot of woman cheat and this result in man getting insecure They don’t know what to do anymore. If you like to go have a certian hairdo do it and you’re wife has to accept it if she doesn’t she can move along just like she would do when you are commanding her to do things she doesn’t like.. Show you’re boundaries. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF. Again some think woman hate it because of feminisme but they love it when a man stand up for his own morals and things. When a woman threats you like a bitch she often does it to test if a man has charisma and power if you don’t put her in her place she will lose interest. We man olso do the same sometimes to woman it’s a natural way of testing if the other person is worth it. And TAKE THE LEAD ask a girl out decide where to go, kiss her take the lead . a lot of guys don’t have the balls anymore to do it because they thinx woman hate it. To sum everything up what woman want and don’t want let me give you 2 examples: The pussy guy A guy ask to a woman where do you want to eat tonight? Italian food That’s a good idea lets do that. A confident man Honey lets go out for indian food? She says : no I am not interested in indian food. I want Italian. You say : you know what lets eat indian food today and tomorrow we will eat Italian food the thing you like ? (A nice guy would say its ok we will not eat indian food and eat Italian) Notice I still respect her choise and say we will eat Italian tomorrow. I I am not dominating a woman I am just inviting her to something I WANT. And I even change some things I put water at the wine because I care about her. A lot of guys thinx that woman hate it when a man takes the lead of course not they just don't want a bad guy who dominates her. THIS IS WHY MAN ARE INSECURE THEY ARE FALLOWING MODERN FEMINISME GUIDELINES AND GET REJECTED
Can we refrain from declaring what all women like or don't like? Women are individuals with their own preferences. Some may be attracted to strong dominant males, some may not be attracted to males at ALL. Feminism has nothing to do with this.
I think the powerful woman vs the insecure man is a generational thing, I think the younger generation are more in tune with the equal rights for girls and women, but porn does somewhat act to erode that. It's horses for courses with relationships, there is no real 'women like this' 'men like that' since as GG2002 put it we are all individuals. I agree however that a man shouldn't be a walkover, in the end that wont make the relationship last long if he just always agrees and is 'too nice' the same goes for women too. Relationships are about communication and finding the right balance, sometimes opposite personalities compliment each other, sometimes they just go against each other and end up separated. Some men like a woman who 'wears the trousers' and some women like a man who is 'the man of the house' type, if both people are happy, whether it's a traditional style relationship or a modernised metropolitan relationship where both partners are professionals it doesn't matter as long as people are happy being together. You can't go up to someone and say 'excuse me, your socially engineered gender based role in the relationship doesn't fit my world view..please find someone else' One of the big things that porn gets wrong is the fact that when a man is in a committed relationship he can't just pick and choose who he wants to have sex with, porn plays to the power/control dynamic both are present in males and females but more so in males. I think some men feel that if they move into a proper relationship they will lose the feeling of control they had which paradoxically is a lack of control! like the drug addict coming to the decision they can never use again...ever! some men just can't accept the fact they can't view porn, once they get over that, the ego, then it's a lot easier and much less difficult to deal with in every day life.
@kingpietro You've read too much of that PUA bullshit (I know because I've read too much of that bullshit, too) Don' get me wrong, this stuff works. But only on a specific type of woman. And this is usually the kind of woman you would want for one night and not the rest of your life. The other ones will see through that facade pretty quick. It's the equivalent of women wearing too much makeup. I always get suspicious about that. I always think to myself "Damn, she must be really ugly if she needs that much makeup" And the same goes with that PUA stuff, too. As soon as they see through you, they think "Well this guy is clearly frustrated with his love life if needs to use those techniques" Women are ultimately attracted by who you are, not how much "game" you have. And if you constantly work on yourself and be the best possible version of yourself, while others are watching porn or television, you will have more women than you know what to do with.
@ properitas Are you the same guy who recommended reading mark manson... If so, props, I read that book and it was a good read?!
Yeah it was the bomb, actually kinda reminded me of 'End Game' by logun. Don't know if you read that? https://www.datingskillsreview.com/end-game/
Agreed. It's really about your personality and what type of man or woman you work with well do the personalities jive? The only reason I brought up the feminist revolution is because it now allows a woman to choose. Before many were stuck in relationships with men who dominated but had no choice but to stay even if they hated it. Divorces were harder to get, women did not have good birth control options often ending up pregnant and stuck with the guy for the sake of her kids financial support or they were unable to earn an income. Personally I want a man with a back bone but I think a relationship is all about being a team and compromising. Example the quote about where to eat is a compromise. We have what You want Indian tonight and tomorrow we eat what I want. Each person takes turns leading when it's something they are good at there is no one leader all the time and you pick your battles. I could care less what we eat but maybe my partner is very picky so I compromise on that and he knows on some things he needs to. I agree that it's fine to approach women and be pro active with dating. But very few women or people for that matter are going to be okay with a partner that is always contrary never willing to compromise and trying to dominate. Many alpha women like myself do better with beta males (who the original author calls pussies) because we have dominant personalities. There are also many women who want the man to be the leader that's their belief and their desire and it works for them. The actress Candace Cameron Bure comes to mind. She has said her husband is the leader and gotten blasted by feminists but I don't see why. Feminism is about having choices so work or don't, be the leader yourself, let your man lead or be team. Everybody should stand up for themselves and their beliefs otherwise no one will respect you but you also must compromise on things. If you are going to break up cause she wants you relationship wear your hair a certain way okay then! The insecurity from my perspective lies from the men that feel they must dominate end even though they try and try the woman won't let them. And since many men need to feel superior they become insecure. Women don't need to feel superior or at least I don't. The problem is that while I agree that every woman is different I think that there are less and women who fall into the camp where they want the man to lead and dominate. So men either are single or need to learn to adjust.
