Anxiety

"Am I not recovering"...

I think you expected giving up porn to cure all your problems. Porn isn't the cause of all your problems so giving it up isn't going to make every problem go away. It sounds like you have GAD (General anxiety disorder) im not a doctor so don't take my word for it. Giving up porn isn't going to make that go away. It may help it though. I've had more than my fair share of anxiety and I know exactly how you feel. I used to think everytime I heard someone laughing, I thought they were laughing at me. If someone was standing behind me laughing I would think that maybe I had shit stains on the back of my trousers lol. My anxiety was unrelenting. It was much worse in school for me. I kind of grew out of that thinking pattern. Now if someone laughs behind me I just don't care. I don't even think that they're laughing at me anymore. You too will get past this.

You need to realise that this pattern of thinking is in your head! All these things you're thinking. That you're ugly, unattractive, awkward. I can pretty much bet you that the people you're around aren't even thinking this. It's you who's thinking it. When you start to think like this it then makes you start to act weird and then people will actually think you're weird. You need to stop these thoughts. I know it's easier said than done. In time you will learn. You're not the only one who feels like this, I can bet you their are tonnes of people in your school who also feel this way, you just don't know because you're not inside their heads. You won't always feel like this.

 

Have you tried having a sense of humour and not being so serious? Take it easy....it works wonders!

 

What helped me was Buddhism and Stoicism. And of course meditation.
Currently, I can't care less about what other people think about me.

However, it might be just a bad day. I used to feel like that from time to time when I was on 45 Days streaks. Some days were filled with anxiety while other were fine.
My point is, DO NOT RELAPSE. If you have anxiety it is intensified by doing NoFap because your brain is doing detoxing. The best thing you can do is stand aside and let it do it's thing.
Here is something I found today because I felt depressed a couple of hours ago:

During the detox process it’s not uncommon to experience some withdrawal symptoms. These can include depression, anxiety, insomnia, lethargy, difficulty with concentration, and even headaches and stomachaches. As uncomfortable as these symptoms may be, they are temporary. For those who persevere in recovery these symptoms will end and they can experience freedom from the compulsion to use pornography.
Another challenge for the brain is getting used to normal everyday life again. The brain is always looking for new stimulation. This is why we often enjoy learning new things. It is also attracted to that which is novel.
One of the problems with pornography is that it over-stimulates the brain. As stated above, the brain becomes accustomed to this extreme stimulation. When a person stops using porn, regular everyday activities, which used to be interesting, are now considered extremely boring. The brain is craving the hyper-stimulation it used to enjoy.

 

First you need to love and care yourself. Think in all the effort you have made, all the goals you have accomplished. Allways keep in mind that every step you have made, even if it was a little one, it makes you a better person. Also, talk with your family or true friends about your feelings and anxieties, they will help you to remind you who you really are.

 

Hahaha.. you're a good man. I always enjoy puns. How do you relate with others in class? Do you hang out with them?

 

It sounds like you are natural joker. I can relate to this. I got myself in hot water all the time in school. In fact the way my mind works is to be scanning the environment constantly for funny stuff. If people aren't getting your puns it's simply going over their heads. I do the same thing even at 30 years old. I started a degree this week and in class I wanted to make so many jokes but my head says "nope, what if people think you're an idiot". Yet when I'm with people who I know will appreciate the puns they just come naturally. If you listen to comedians they generally had similar experiences in school. Maybe you're a natural comedian in the making!

Cheers!

 

Dear Borther,
I think the Answer to your Problem is Acceptance. You see our mind is very complex in order to survive its Identity it needs to make up Problems all the Time. So Anxiety is just mind being what it is. But when you accept I mean when the thoughts come that Peoplr are laughing at you or they are making fun of you . Whatever it be all your I securities just accept that this might happen . Just accept that nobody will like you and you will turn into a nobody. Just accept you are going to be single forever. Just accept you will never enjoy good status or a good life. But by being submissive you take away the brains power to manipulate you and play with you. There is one a million chance that what you think will ever happen but by accepting it you will feel easy as you are in synergy with life and all the resistance which causes suffering will end . Hope this helps. Please share your thoughta

 

There will always be ingrates and backstabbers around, we just need to know how to deal with them. Don't let this stop you from being a good person. Of course, we always need friends. Perhaps there are some clubs or circles you can join that are more pleasant and accepting?

 

Well worth speaking to a doctor about anxiety. That's what I did and I managed to get medication and therapy sessions.

 

You need natural boosters. Food mainly. I use pumpkin seeds, mint leafs, ghee (purified butter), tulasi leafs. And go vegeterian. Anxiety and Depession are close friends to Addiction. So for God's sake, start first eating healthy and have compassion for other creatures...who as well passed their stress and anxiety right before they got killed, and then those very same hormones enter your body, as you eat. Damn, how you ain't gonna be depressed then? It's obvious.

 

Have you tried small talk?

 

It's a good start... tomorrow you can start to have longer chats. Deeper conversation comes when relationships are formed.