I'm fantasizing

I would be careful, my experience in the past was that fantasy often lead to P and M. Best do whatever coping strategy you have to get out of it and move on.

 

At this early stage, fantasy can be very harmful as it will be linked too closely to PMO to be healthy. When you get a couple months under your belt you will find that your mind will revert to a more natural state and your fantasies will be healthier and more based on intimacy and real world sex, as opposed to fake porn scenarios. I think these kind of fantasies are OK as long as they dont lead to relapse, at the end of the day you arent a robot and the whole point of NoFap is to heal, not to repress sexual desire.

 

It's normal and it's the main reason we fall back into M and P

 

I had to fight off a renegade fantasy last night that almost led me back to that familiar "reach into my pants" territory. Shit is dangerous early on. Dont know if that'll remain the case later, but I know I wont get to find out if I entertain them too much now.

 

It's rather normal to be fantasizing if you aren't on hard mode, because you still have sexual activity but not in the frequency that your body would like it to be. I think your brain misses to bust a nut, but don't let it trick you and you will become the best version of yourself.

 

Great question!
I think yes, fantasy is similar to P. I have a very good imagination and it can be almost like watching a movie in my brain. So, what's the difference?
The trick is to stop all this lustful thinking as soon as you become aware of it.

 

I struggled with this too, for a good 100+ days of no porn the fantasy still lingers but it does fade away. Gradually.

 

We will. Mentally stronger. Urge after urge! Like lifting mind weights.

 

I had the same thing happening to me when I was first rebooting on my own earlier in the year. I think the advice here is correct -- and I've been trying to avoid fantasizing on this reboot. One of my major weaknesses, it seems, is just checking women out on the street as I go about my day.

Yesterday, when I went out I made a conscious effort to avoid sexual thoughts and to avoid lingering looks / fantasy. By being aware of this I saw how often, when walking down the street, I'd be sexualizing and objectifying strangers. I can see that I've probably been doing this for a very looooong time. Instead, whenever I caught myself wanting to 'check someone out' -- I'd look up and try to notice something new. Maybe the way the light fell golden through the autumn leaves, maybe the victorian design of a lampost, a gargoyle hidden in the architecture, a bit of graffitti ... anything. This seemed to cut down my sexual thoughts.

I was getting so good at this when my female friend (who I am attracted to and whom I have some history with) entered the cafe I didn't recognize her but merely saw a female silliouette coming my way and moved my gaze towards a very interesting lampshade which, I thought, would look nice in my living room.

I think what I'm doing when I'm walking around and looking at strangers / fantasizing is building up urges and stimuli that creates the desire to fap and makes it so that when I get home to a computer that is one of the first things I look for. Or maybe it's just mental edging. Anyway, it definitely led to relapse. Peeking @ P --> edging --> relapse.

I'm glad to hear this will go away if I stay vigilant. On my first attempts I didn't try as hard as I am now. IC

 

I had nearly the exact same experience. I was 10+ days pmo free when i first discovered I was sexualizing and fantasizing about every damn woman i encountered. All day long. And "looking up" helped me tremendously. I saw trees, birds, interesting building features...and on and on. It's cool you do the same thing. I always felt like the idea was whispered to me by God, it was so helpful.

And it's true. Sexualizing women, fantasizing about them, builds up these urges like building kindling for a fire. Pretty soon you have so much dry wood lying around the tiniest match can start a huge blaze. SA takes about this a great deal.

 

Same with me. Last night I was having trouble falling back asleep and the urge to fap was right there.

I've found that being present with the thoughts and fantasies helps me. Recognize that you're having the thought, lightly make note of it and then return to whatever I'm doing. If I'm not doing anything then it's a sign I need to get moving. Eventually they will deescalate and become less frequent and more natural.

 

Great metaphor, man. Today was pretty tough to stay on the the 'Look Up' train -- I could feel my body demanding the 'hit' of just a little peek, a little fantasty but managed to avoid it. Hope you've managed to stay strong too. Keeping that kindling to a minimum!



IC

 

so far, so good!