Help!

Hey man, take it easy, relapsing is part of the process. You say you are motivated and unhealthy , well i've definitely been in your situation before somewhat : pmo, video games, late night binging, unfocused at school, you name it. I think what work for me is setting aside time to evaluate your life and then see what you be the easier for you to work at first. For me was making my bed and writing a journal entry everynight, then i started a schedule then i started excercising on a regular basis again. I started cooking some of my meals and try my best not to eat out. Then i decide to help my mom with the house chores on a regular basis instead of her requesting me to do iy each time. I hope you see the pattern.

This journey is not about abstaining from pmo thinking sheer willpower can help you recover or suddenly gaining all alledged superpowers as some members may have proclaimed, its about SELF IMPROVEMENT AND DISCIPLINE. Start with something small and easy to accomplish for yourself. Make your bed, take our the trash, etc and and make those habits. It will spur you on to abstain from pmo because porn will never give you a sense of achievement and personal improvement.

There are gonna be many moments where your cravings will be so high you will be so tempted to give in. But it is in these moments where you will be tested. If you manage to abstain, give your self a pat on your shoulder, reward yourself with a small sweet treat. If you relapse, dont beat yourself up, learn from it and continue on your journey.

 

The negative feelings you're experiencing are perfectly normal when facing difficulties, and they truly are horrible to go through.

Of course, when you feel like this, you're going to crave things that 'feel nice' (like PMO) so don't worry about relapsing! When our lives are hard, our decision-making capacity is so worn we often can't make the decisions we want to make. I get the impression you really want to change your life and move forward, so it's not you that is the problem right now, it's all the bad shit going on around you.

The best thing you can do here is be sympathetic to yourself, just as you would to a friend or community member who was going through the same thing. You've spent a while PMO-free which shows you can work at and accomplish goals. With time and changing tides, you'll find moments where things look up and you feel better; it won't seem that way while you're low, but that's how life works and in those moments you can pick yourself up.

Just posting here shows you want to change, and you have the backing of a whole community of people at different stages in their recovery. Some have gone through the same, for others it will be different, but everyone here has your back!

I hope this helps.