I work a lot at home... how can i avoid PMO?

Install K-9 or some other software to block adult content. Also, if you live with other people, you could leave your bedroom or office door open at all times.

 

TLDR: Get a laptop, you don't need expensive one for writing and head to the coffee/tea shop with electricity plugs and wi-fi (if you absolutely need wi-fi, if not, find a place without one!). The money you will spend on drinks are nothing compared to the time wasted on PMO. You will offset it with better productivity. You will want to have some work done for that coffee, your time will no longer be free.
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Hi, I understand what you are facing and... it is like sitting on a stash of coke 24/7 and trying not to touch it. Can it be more difficult? The drug is at your fingertips and it is "free". A part of the year, months, I work outdoors, I am busy 24/7 with difficult online access - it almost makes me feel my P habits are non existing. When I get back home to 150Mb fiber, small closet and a job that is internet based... guess what happens (or just look at my counter). But to your question>

First of all, figure out an approach that works best for you and use it to your advantage. Or find a combination of the various solutions.

I divide my weaponry into two groups: motivating and restricting.

Under motivating I understand everything that makes me want to do something else than watch P. I am an amateur photographer and have a backlog of years of shots that need to be processed. No need to use internet for that. If I need a break, I just get out. Go grocery shopping, to post office... Recently I started playing Ingress, thanks to which I am actually spending a lot of time outdoors. When I am at the computer and I know the only thing I am going to do is either watch P or try to resist watching P, means no real work is getting done, I dress up and go out to recharge that portal somebody just attacked. 2 am no problem.

When the urges are strong, it is a code red, highest alert and NOT WATCHING P, edging, masturbating is getting a TOP Priority. Over the work, because none is being done anyway, and just over anything else really. I call a friend, any friend available, to talk to the real person, touch real emotions, it helps me realize we are a lot more than just a picture to fap to.

You can fight mild temptations by going to this forum. Reading or contributing, whatever you feel like. But when temptations grow strong, refer to the previous paragraph. Get off the keyboard and screen, go out of your normal fapping space.

Under restricting measures I understand everything that makes it difficult to watch P. Open doors are easy, welcoming and make everyone happy, but are of no use when there is nobody in the house. And you lose your distraction barrier in case you need to concentrate on something important (but that time you are probably not thinking about PMo too much, if you do, that is a heavy distraction itself and you may just keep the doors open).

Software blocking is good to fight off immediate, compulsive triggers. It means porn is not at instant, you need to work around the barrier you set up yourself. You make watching porn little more work for you than usual, so your brain may come to the decision it is not worth it - AT THAT MOMENT. But if you do not follow up with some motivating actions, as the time goes by, your urges will grow and you will be willing to do more and more to get to your drug. You will be inventing new creative workarounds, getting highs just from trying to beat the protection, wasting a lot of time and energy, eventually getting through, consuming the rewards, but at the same time failing the ultimate goal.

Shame is another of the restricting kind. You can shame yourself, in front of you or in front of somebody else (spouse, relative, friend, accountability partner; not your business partner or office mate - we are trying to break addiction, not to commit a social suicide). You can do it by confessing, or you can have a simple software to send regular screenshots of your screen (or even turn them into fast forwarded movie) to somebody. They will not only see if you have watched porn, but also how many hours you have been on the tasks and how much time did you burn on news-reading, Facebook, or even here. Reviewing your working hours in comple minutes long movie can be very revealing sometimes.

However, other people and especially accountability partners are here not only for confessions, they are also here for comfort, motivation, advice and a friendly challenge. Because setting up a mirror for yourself is not going to make you feel better, not in the first stages when we are just learning how to get a hold of everything and failing is so common.

Whatever you do, do not forget why you are doing it. Why you want to break free from PMO, what is your life now and what it can be, what do you want it to be. That is the most important thing and it is also common in all of the settings. So in that regard, it does not really matter that you are using computer dusk to dawn.

 

Hello Renaissance,

I understand your struggle man I am home schooled. My best advice for you is to maybe have an accountable partner with one of the people you live with? Two of my family members know, and one of them has been very supportive of me.

If you don't feel comfortable with that, or in addition to you can also take breaks from your day and visit the forum. On your breaks from writing, visit the forum, help others in need (Which is the greatest way to help yourself), and you can up your activity here during your trigger times. My trigger times are at night (The time I PMOed the most) and when I am sleep deprived.

~Squeaky Soul

 

When you see anything that turns you on look away instantly and then OBSERVE YOURSELF, observe your emotions and feel what the urge does to you, feel the control it has over you. Realize how powerful you have let it become.

 

How much of a life changer you want this to be? Seems you are pretty committed almost to the point of self-torture. Just be aware so that you do not develop yet another form of fetish with your hands bandaged. I know person who seeks to orgasm when somebody is sticking itchi soap into their eyes and parts I am not going to mention - punishment used by their parents. At that point they needed professional help.

K9 will help, but it will not help you to fill the void. You said that unfortunately you live alone. Changing that could be a part of your plan. It does not necessarily need to be an intimate partner - it can be a friend or even somebody in need. Again - how much of a life changer you want this to be?

I would again propose you to try to change environments. I understand you need to books, I was thinking about that. But you may not need all the books to work on a particular section, take those that are important with you - it can actually help you planning and setting some measurable goals. I humbly think that for a writer not having all the books is less constraining than having your thumbs tied up. I found I actually use them when I am writing

 

I'm a freelancer and often work from home, so I certainly know how you feel. The risks are great.

I haven't tried it personally, but I think the suggestions for a software blocker is excellent.

As another poster suggested, I would consider going to a cafe to do your work. I also found the public library as a nice alternative. Have you ever thought about renting office space? If you live in a large metropolitan area, there should be options to rent a desk. I've done this in the past and found it to be great solution. Not only will you eliminate the ability to PMO, but the social atmosphere can also be helpful in warding off feelings of isolation.

If working outside of your home is not an option, I recommend focusing on being a professional. What I mean by that is to treat your home environment like an office. Put clothes on! Maybe even go outside to grab a coffee before you start work and when you return home, know your routine. Make a schedule, organize your area, get rid of distractions, and get down to business. If you focus in this manner, you're sense of accomplishment will also help alleviate the need to view porn.

Best of luck!

 

Funny the thumbs things but it shows that you are determined to overcome your addiction. I also work a lot with the computer and therefore K9 was not an option for me, it was a must. and i must confess that since i have installed it, i haven't watch any dirty video. and even if i want to go around it, it will be impossible because the password is safely kept in my best friend's mail box. As others rightly mentioned you should also get involved in some other stuff. ad from time to time go offline! even a writer can afford this. we still have pen and pencils and that other thing called piece of paper to jot down any brilliant thought. and also, get involved in something else. for Christmas, i dedicated a huge amount of my time to a kind of social service. it is tiresome and very demanding and i notice that my craving fade away. in my case, boredom is the enemy number one. so, as long as i get myself busy, i am fine. so i hope this help, and keep coming to this website. together, anyone at his own pace, we will make this journey towards freedom and renaissance. Take care and have a great day!