Hey everyone, I'm new to the group. Here's a background of what brought me to this site. Back in January, I got a random friend request on Facebook, and accepted it. Mere minutes after I accepted the request, I got a video call from the "friend". She was barely wearing anything, and was very flirtatious. I went into the bathroom at my work, "she" asked to see my penis, and I obliged. Next thing I knew, I was looking at myself with my penis out. Then came the extortion. I made it through that, and hid the evidence, until this past Sunday. My wife found the affadavit I filled out. I came clean about using cam sites, my porn habits, and everything. I am making a promise, not only to her, but myself, that I am going to try and quit porn altogether. She didn't have a problem with vids, pics, or stories, but the cams stepped out of bounds. I faced hard truths about myself. I told her porn, no matter the form is what brought me to where I was. I broke her heart, and trying like hell to make it up to her. Cams are cheating, and it's clear as day now. I just wish it didn't take me being caught to be completely honest and upfront with her. I'm not sorry I was caught, I'm ashamed of what I've done. Has anyone else had a similar experience?
Welcome to the community. Sadly, yes, many of us have had similar situations. Don't feel alone in this. Best wishes to you both. Feel free to ask questions. Many PA's willing to help along with some very insightful SO's.
Just out of curiosity, how were you extorted? Did they save the video of you and threaten to send it to friends or something?
Yes, that is exactly what happened. They get you to show your stuff, then you are watching yourself on a loop. They then threaten to show it to friends, family, work, anything that can hurt you.
It might be a good idea to maybe think about getting off any and all social media sites until you have a better handle on your situation. Just a thought.
Hey man. I'm a cammer in a relationship as well. hope you're making progress on this. I'm rooting for ya
So what exactly do you mean when you say "cammer"? Not trying to be nosy, I just saw that your counter was reset to today and if you're doing webcams while in a relationship with this addiction, I think that's a really dangerous combination that's only going to get you into trouble, if I'm understanding this all correctly, that is.
Yup, you're right. It is dangerous and going to get me in trouble. (See my other post in this sub, I'm working up to telling my GF.) I reset the counter yesterday, I haven't been here in a few weeks but trying to get back into it. I've struggled not really with porn, but with masturbation more generally and the last year or two webcam sites. working towards getting better with my therapist, but need to come out to my girlfriend I think to ever truly improve
This just happened to me know. I was extorted and I'm waiting to hear back that she got the money and will delete the video. I feel disgusting and violated. I'm deeply disturbed and I feel just awful. Ik it's been a while since this post has had any activity. I hope someone's still active.
I'm sorry to hear that. How long ago did it happen? Do you have a sponsor or CSAT to talk to about it at all?
Yeah, because that's EXTREMELY helpful for us addicts. If that's all you're here for, you should probably go somewhere else, man. That kind of condemnation helps no one.
I imagine its quite easy for someone to fall for it if that are addicted to web cam/cyber sex. Just like an addiction to porn can lead to making other mistakes, like computer viruses etc.
Yes, this. I recall once visiting a relative of my wifes and the computer at their house was constantly popping up porn ads......and the young man of the house apparently had convinced the mother that it was a virus or other malware that caused it.........which no doubt was the second half of the truth. Once you get into the habit of interaction with women online for sexual purposes, a "show me your junk" request probably isn't as weird as it might be if you only look at porn. Cam porn is bad for you......it's an escalation from regular porn. Better than anything illegal, but that's about the only good thing about it.
No offence, or maybe yes offence, but falling for this is the equivalent of believing the masked man has candy inside his white van.
Well, not all the time, but yes, most husbands seems to take things for granted and think there will be no lasting consequences. But what do I know.