Masturbating while others watch is what brought me to this community. Though I've enjoyed my share of porn, I was beaten down to the deepest lows because of this fetish. I would usually find girls on chatting apps that would eventually agree to watch me masturbate. Staying away from chatting apps and this practice is incredibly difficult. However, I'm staying strong: 6 days clean now. Does anybody else have this same problem? I'm baffled as to why I want girls to watch me masturbate and O.
We all have our fetishes and addictions. However, being judgemental because it isn't your addiction seems out of place considering this is a community of people who struggle with addiction. The constant chase of looking for my next fix, despite my fetish, has destroyed many areas of my life and has ultimately brought me here seeking recovery. If you're not offering words of encouragement or suggestions on what keeps you sober, I'd suggest against calling somebody's addiction "weird." I did not come here to be judged. I came here seeking a better way of life.
Dude I didn’t quite get to the point of having others watch me, but I did record myself a couple times and watch it. It was one of my lowest lows and also one of the last times I MO’d. I think my desire to do this was pure egotism. I thought I was hot and wanted to like watch porn of myself. That’s the level or narcissism I was at. Hope you know someone can relate atleast a little. @Tina123 Why the hell would you come into someone’s thread and make them feel like a freak. Do you have any idea how stupid that is? That could drive someone into further denial and darkness. You should really think twice before you post.
Thanks for your response my friend and thank you for calling Tina123 out. You are absolutely right, I didn't come here to be humiliated even more. This addiction, despite how "crazy" or "weird" it is, has made me contemplate life all together. To post something like that in a place where I'm getting honest and seeking help is downright irresponsible and completely disrespectful. I have reported Tina123 but not sure anything will come of it. Luckily I have the support of so many great people on nofap and am serious about staying sober. Thank you again.
Hey man. Stay strong. I believe that now that you came to this website you are on the right track. A thing that help me to less focus in myself is less looking in the mirror. Or at least look for shorter time. I hope you the very best and may you will fulfill your goals and eliminate this behaviour that hinders you from your life.
Sounds like Sounds like you have the will. There is a panic button as well here on NoFap. Stay busy, or away from any environment that can cause you to relapse. I suggest to focus on your goals and life and about beating it once and for all and never going back down that road again and you won't be that guy with that problem anymore. You can do this. No didn't mean to call you weird. Pls don't take it the wrong way as that wasn't my intention. Have a blessed one.
Have you ever noticed how much girls in particular look at reflections of themselves a lot? Even shop or car windows. People are obsessed with the way they look. Imagine this: before mirrors, people basically couldn't see themselves as an image, they could only see others in a visual way. Now, we can look at images of ourselves on a screen, plus images of people we will never meet.
Thank you @HelplessPleaseHelp? I appreciate the kind words and suggestions. I truly love this community as I've benefitted so much thus far.
We have chatted before and hell yes I can relate. The more P you watch the harder it is to get off to run of the mill material as your feel good chemicals in your brain become exhausted.. hence you start looking for new and varied ways to get those dopamine chemicals released. After a while you might find yourself engaging in increasingly risky behaviour in order to get the same buzz. For example some guys in this site although not identifying as homosexual will watch transporn as their brain circuitry has gone mental. They may even be disturbed or upset at their inability to stop watching this flavour of porn. When they try NoFap and abstain they usually find they aren't into that stuff anymore and go back to their hetrosexual ways. You aren't weird yoh are just addicted to like the rest of us. Stick with nofap and slowly you will move away from this stuff. Are you noticing tgat while you still want to engage everyday you feel better? You feel lousy as hell when you reset though!! Keep at it. Won't happen overnight but we will grt there
@Tryinghardtoquit, I greatly appreciate your insight as it is spot on. Some people who have since been removed from this thread called me crazy for having this fetish. However, you explained the phenomenon of craving for a new, more exciting fix to a tee. Thank you for that. Today I'm finishing 7 days no P and chat apps and it feels great for sure. The adjustment is strange, however, I was at an all time low and wanted to be done. I plan to stay active on nofap and doing the things that have worked up until this point. One day at a time, God willing, my brain will rewire. Thank you again and please keep in touch.
We all have our fetishes. We all have our demons. Everyone experiences this addiction in a different way. Nobody is weird or crazy for having a specific fetish or desire. We are all fucked up in our own way and all on this website for a reason. To learn and support each other. Stay positive. Negativity can fuck off
@GeorgeJetson 7 days is pretty solid George. Keep going. When you get tempted just come here and read posts, journal, and think about how miserable giving into your fetish makes you feel.
@RedeemedIowan Thanks so much! Yeah, 7 days has been my best so far, and also the first time I've been a part of a community struggling from similar addictions. I greatly appreciate your advice as I believe doing what you mentioned will keep me sober from P and chat apps. Thank you again, my friend!
Hey man, completely. I am totally agree with you. This habit of looking at ourselves in the mirror is just not necessary and we can reduce it. I am not saying that it is not nice to look at yourself once in a while in the mirror, it is nice to check if we are clean, tidy and look the way we want. But when it becomes an obsessive looking like some of the girls who check themselves in the reflections of cars windows, then you know it is quite abnormal and should be treated.