In short,i am determined to cut porn out completely and i have no fear that i will reach that goal. However,my wife and i have conflicting schedules almost each day and we have had troubles in the home. I think im suffering from PIED but i could be wrong... either way, im cutting that aspect of my life out. Is it detrimental to use pictures of my wife as arousal to send my focus on her and not to porn? I stopped viewing her pictures after we dealt with some issues because it was painful and not helpful but i want to move forward and at the same time i want to resolve my ED... thoughts?
As in using her pix to M? If you have pied, Stop with the M. Period. You are trying to rewire your brain to her In person. In my understanding.
Yeah, M to the pictures of your wife is not gonna help with PIED. First off you need to reboot your brain so you're aroused by your wife's presence, not the pics, and crush the expectations of intimacy that are handed on a plate by P - P gives you a stupid idea that you must be some sort of brutish dude that does the deed and he's done. Intimacy is way beyond that, mate. Cheers.
I appreciate the replies.... so the M wasnt to completion,it was to make sure i could still get up.I hadnt had an erection in like 3 days. she came home from the time i posted this, jumped on me and my body operated like i just hit puberty. I will still follow the advice though and not use any of the pictures or M. Id rather know exactly whats going on with my body... or brain
With Pied? How so? Pied may be your new friend for a while. You could see some improvement in weeks. Real improvement is in months, But I would guess years. From one with one year sobriety. Things are much better. But time and work On your PA matter. As does consideration and home repair of your relationship.
So i never had issues with pied until a few months ago. After i got my vasectomy i noticed a major difference. Oddly i had ZERO issues before i got it done. Afterwards it slowly became an issue. During the recovery period of the vasectomy which was Over a year ago, she did some regrettable things so i disappropriately think about that when we get intimate. As for how porn effected us, she didnt want me to watch it. I would hide my addiction and told myself the normal “i could stop at any time” I finally stopped it but started back after she did what she did. I was angry with people and didnt want anyone so i thought it was safe.
I did that big time in a previous relationship. Resentment is a relationship killer. I used it as an excuse to ‘read’ porn then, too. Hope you can let it go, I wish I had then. Anger and resentment Breed Anger and resentment. Best wishes.
What did you do? What we did do is that we both used a perceived slight to go back to P. Brilliant! ‘It’s their fault’, which is very addicty and blaming. Gave us the ‘addict’s out’ the claim to an excuse, that we could stop at any time...
Haha thanks for the advice,it is crazy though Explicit,non explicit, if its my wife it doesnt really matter, allof it works to reach that goal. But i needed the info for a PIED standpoint... I appreciate it
Don’t fool yourself, edging or “not to completion, is not harmless. In fact it is more harmful because it is solely dopamine release often lasting longer as there is no O to finish. Edging is not an alternative or a technique for reboot. It is extremely counterproductive. I know, it got me to a few relapses. Strong responses from all here and I agree, no pics. Focus on her in real life. The Focus has to be very disciplined and be P free.
Appreciated.... well she came home and showed me that my stuff is still working properly lol not intentionally but it happened nevertheless
Karezza is not edging. It is very different. It is a practice that fosters deep intimacy between you and your partner.
It also helps with mindfulness and self control. I agree not the same as edging but I can see how that can be seen as similar without experiencing the difference.
Karezza https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_reservatus Coitus reservatus (coitus, "sexual intercourse, union" + reservatus, "reserved, saved"),[1] also known as sexual continence. Alice Stockham coined the term karezza, derived from the Italian word "carezza" meaning "caress", to describe coitus reservatus.[2] In short, it’s not about the O. It builds the Oxytocin, the bonding hormone between the couple.