Welcome! With more knowledge, we demystify the 'enemy' and win the war. I learned that once you stop self care habits and activities you are courting a full relapse. That is usually the case with me just before a physical relapse.
Day 21- I usually am a nervous wreck when talking to new people or persons in authority. My voice becomes shaky and palms start sweating. I have noticed an improvement in this area. I am more poised and I sweat less. I used to think that there was something wrong with me. Now I know it's just toxic shame behind it all. I can't wait for the day when toxic shame will be fully out of my body and I will be able to fulfill my potential. I need to keep working in my communication skills though. There is no shortcut.
Day 3. I am back at day 3.However,it is hardly reminiscent of when I first started out on this journey, because the 100 days that I gave up p and m for, have clearly given me greater clarity and control when I had those minor slip ups. I am looking forward to pushing myself to be better for myself and for those around me and getting rid of the noxious effects of porn. Onwards to victory.
Wow I am into 7th day. Don't remember the last time I had a straight 7 day streak. I am not a brainless conciousless stupid moron anymore. Finally I can be respected by myself. Thanks a lot to the community. this is going to last for atleast an year. With all your support. I will make it. Thanks for keeping me motivated.
Day 53/365. Really wrestled with myself today, had strong urges and wanted to act on them. Couldn't focus much at work. Looked at some g-rated pictures online, even knowing where that can lead. But it ended there. The urges have receded. I think I've been working too many hours, not having enough fun, not getting enough sleep and something inside me rebelled. This is a wake up call.
Day 10. The fight has been real. Even looking at normal pictures of Facebook friends is misleading my thougths. I realized that curiosity is the most dangerous leader to failing as it it makes me wonder if it's something I am missing if I don't look at it. It starts with a little thought!
Another day. I've been super busy tghe last few days- maybe weeks. When not working , being with my daughter or running chores I'm fixing up where I live. I ussualy hate painting but I've been finding it therapeutic lately. Sometimes I listen to the jocko podcast at other times I just be with my thoughts. I'm really conscious of not wasting time anymore. My time is my life and I've wasted too much of it to waste anymore. I want to be the best I can be in every area of life and when I lay down to sleep I want to look back on a good day. One day at atime.