Hey...!

Welcome !

I suggest reading success stories and posting a journal everyday to process what your going through and get support when needed.

Good luck!

 

Welcome to the community, @Fox85! You have taken an important step to reclaim your life. I know that freedom can seem impossible at times, but there is hope. I wish you the best as you begin this journey. Learn from others on NoFap and always be willing to adapt and grow. Every time you make a good choice, you are slowly rewiring your brain. It is not a quick or easy process, but it is possible. I hope this community will be able to provide you with lots of encouragement.

 

My thought process was exactly the same when I joined NoFap in January. I did not believe that I would ever overcome my 20 years of addiction. I am far from done with my recovery, but I am seeing some real growth. I am also so much happier in life. I am confident that you can make it. Just remember there are deeper roots beneath our addictions. It takes a lot of effort to unearth them sometimes, but they are there. I spent most of my life running away from those repressed parts of my life. Dealing with them is not easy, but is essential for us to find healing. Just know that you are not alone. You have so many people here fighting alongside you.

 

My relationship with my wife is much stronger as a result of this journey. I am also less negative about myself. I was struggling a lot with depression before, and that has nearly vanished. I have been more motivated to have a more active lifestyle and pursue the things I love. I never realized how much of my life was consumed with PMO. I am able to fill that void with more positive things.

I definitely do not claim to have all the answers or anything. My life is far from perfect, but I can see that I am becoming a better person each day.

 

Welcome.
Read the Success Stories forum a lot and think about taking up exercise and deep breathing/meditation. Also taking up other good habits such as reading is good.

 

Your questions are not invasive at all. Asking questions is important, and I am more than happy to answer - especially if it is helpful to your journey.

My wife has been very involved in my rebooting process. I had an emotional breakdown back in November where I confessed some of my struggles to her. I did not refer to it as addiction, and I didn’t really paint an accurate picture of how deep it ran in my life. We wrestled with some pretty strong emotions in the following six weeks. We started couples’ counseling but my heart was not in it. I was going through the motions. Right before Christmas she confronted me about my addiction. She had phone records and internet searches that she presented to me and wanted answers. I confessed to all of it. Even though I had been honest with her earlier, I had continued in my acting out. She kicked me out of our bedroom and told me that I had a choice to make. That night in December broke me. I realized that I was about to lose everything important to me. From that point on, I have been working on being a better man.

My wife and I reconciled and decided that I needed to go through a recovery process. We started seeing individual therapists in addition to our joint counseling. That is when I discovered NoFap. I talked with her and we both agreed that I needed to do hard mode. I felt like it was the only way that I would be able to find freedom. It has been really hard for both of us, but we have made it. I will reach the halfway point tomorrow. I can honestly say that it has helped me to be more thoughtful and intimate with my wife. When sex is off the table, you have to get creative. I am learning to appreciate her more. It is very freeing to be honest with her. She encourages me but is not my accountability. We both decided that she does not need the responsibility of that role. This battle is on my shoulders. I know that she is standing beside me, but ultimately I need to do this for myself.

I honestly believe that the lack of being secretive has been a huge factor in my 44 days of success. Before all of this, my longest streak without some form of release was 10 days. Obviously I don’t know you or your wife, but if you ever feel like the conversation about your struggle would be a possibility I encourage you to consider it. There is power in honesty. In the end you have to do what is best for you, man. I know for me, I believe that my marriage is going to be even better after all of this. We had to go through the fire to find healing.

Sorry for rambling on. I hope you found some encouragement in there somewhere.