Facebook

It's not even just about the content, that completely ignores the algorithms. It's an issue with people who don't even use it for p-sub. There are many articles on that now, not to mention the political crap.

 

It can be a p-sub because of the content "friends" post, correct?

 

Yeah but you gotta realize it's more than just them being on your friends list. The way they order the feed, the way the notifications are pushed at you in a cluster (they save it up and give you a bunch at once) - there are people who have studied this stuff to make it hook you. It is literally designed to be addictive and programmed into the code and a number of people involved have flat out come out to admit it. So even if someone doesn't use it for p-Sub they may still be addicted.

Check this out:

 

I disagree. I don't think we should avoid triggers, we should find a way to deal with triggers. The fact is we will come against triggers as we live and shouldn't be scared of them but welcome them. Triggers can be beneficial because they reveal things within us that we don't want to face and give us the opportunity to move up to mature. Personally, if I wanted to avoid triggers I would have to live alone in a cave for the rest of my life and that's no way to live a life.

 

The Adult Chair did a good episode on triggers. It's more about triggers of anger but it might be helpful
https://theadultchair.com/podcast/133

 

One way of dealing with triggers is avoiding that which you know to be a trigger. When we go looking for trouble - and not avoiding known triggers is looking for trouble - we'll usually find it and the results won't be good.

Perhaps you can help others learn how you are dealing with triggers - both those that you know about, and those that you may not yet recognize as triggers ?

One day at a time is how we all succeed.

 

In general I agree with the point about dealing with triggers and not exclusively trying to avoid them, however in the context of social media we have to recognize it is a machine driven process and the triggers comes in the form of automated micro-movements the computing platform continually streams at you. You will get worn down much sooner than the computer will.

 

I do think it makes life easier if we can avoid triggers but I think we need to accept sooner or later we will have them. Because if we put so much energy trying to avoid them we might react in an unhealthy way when we are triggered. I see some people here blame women for their relapses and go into rants about how women should dress modestly, and I think putting so much energy into avoiding triggers contributes to them making the posts they make.

I'll be honest I don't always deal with them well but there have been moments when I have done well. What I usually do is focus on something else and sooner or later I forget the trigger. Also reminding myself that women are people too and not objects has helped. Another thing is reminding myself that urges don't last, it may feel like they never stop but sooner or later they end.

 

Correct. When an urge strikes, it doesn't last forever, even though it may seem that way !

One thing that helps sometimes to get past an urge is to slowly count backwards from 200 to 0 in strange increments, for example, by 3's (200, 197, 194 ...) . It takes a bit of mental focusing and sometimes that is sufficient distraction for the urge to subside.

Do whatever works well for you to get past urges and temptations.

One day at a time is how we all succeed.

 

You know what is worst than that? being good at photoshop and do pervert stuff with your skills, to people that you know.

Imaginate what her will think if she knows.

 

more complicated for me to swich off social networks than porn switch off porn :-( and I dont know how to do it...because a lot of interesting real girls there which I know...and maybe potential of sex...real sex, not porn with virtual bullshits