Unfortunately, i did relapse yesterday. after less than a week. not impressive, especially compared to my streak before from staying clean. however, after my relationship ended in july i could feel myself on a downward slope. and that’s why i will change, and relocate myself on the correct path as before. creating more hobbies for myself to combat boredom. trying new things in general will help. i’ve gave that advice but haven’t applied enough of it to myself. a quick recommendation i have for some of you could be anti-p meditations on youtube. if you are into meditation this should be something you’re used to. and if not, it’s actually not a bad place to start. stop urges, and realize what p REALLY is. an evil drug. the industry is the dealer. we have to see through and see what it is. i’m trying these meditations now and i’ll keep you updated. hopefully it helps!
Why don't you try to just sit with the feeling of boredom? It will not last forever, just sit 10-15 minutes with it. Blaise Pascal, a rather famous philosopher, once said that "all of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone".
Boredom is one of the lowest forms of discomfort / tension / dissatisfaction. Most people will immediately reach for any sort of cheap and convenient stimulation to avoid any negative feelings that start to rise up. Eventually that entitlement of always needing to feel good (like a constant sugar rush) and the habit of sidestepping any form of tension leads to routine comforts and distractions that rarely allows you to feel what's going on inside you and your reality. So you condition yourself to become an addict. The moment boredom or some other form of low level tension bubbles up in your life... you reach for the remote control / the phone / magazine / laptop / ice cream / alcohol / porn / etc. That tension / discomfort / dissatisfaction / suffering is your truth. It's trying to tell you something about your current self and your current reality. It's telling you to stop neglecting / numbing / comforting / escaping it. It's telling you to stop tolerating mediocrity. It's telling you to feel intense emotions so that you can make something of your life. But most people have trained themselves to put out that fire of urgency / intensity / aggression / ambition / desire / passion / expression the moment the signals of dissatisfaction / tension / discomfort arises. Let that boredom evolve into dissatisfaction. Let it evolve to anger that no longer tolerates mediocrity. Let it evolve into passion / ambition / intensity / urgency. Let it evolve into a new way of life. Don't release the tension. Feel it all intensely. Transform pain, problems, and negative experiences into higher quality pleasure, solutions, and positive experiences. Stay and feel the tension longer than others. Bask in it. Work with it. Step into it. Harness it. Live your truth.
this meant a lot. i’ve read it a few times. basking in something that isn’t worth it is something many do. for me, it’s been p. things such as video games, tv, is just something i do on the side. i limit myself everyday. i focus on being positive. being around people in person or online that make you feel better is important. i have to work on focusing on the tension and feeling it. and receiving even more passion to change my life than i already have.
What feels good isn't always good for you (PMO). What feels bad isn't always bad for you (having difficult conversations with someone you care about). What's comfortable now (junk food) becomes uncomfortable later on (health problems). What's uncomfortable now (challenging awkward, difficult, and uncertain social interactions that might not work) becomes comfortable later on (social freedom and expression). People who tend to gravitate towards easy, certain, and convenient instant gratification sacrifice long term outcomes for the sake of short term emotions. Their vision for their life can't see beyond their need for their own gratification and they're unable to see the long term damage. They eat junk food everyday because it doesn't show the damage right away, but it does in the long term. The comfortable becomes uncomfortable over time. People who tend to gravitate towards difficult, uncertain, and uncomfortable delayed gratification sacrifice short term emotions for the sake of long term outcomes. They don't settle for cheap stimulation. They stay with pain, problems, and negative experiences long enough to attain higher quality pleasure, solutions, and positive experiences. So instead of having mcdonalds everyday, they learn to cook a healthy diet which doesn't show the benefits right away, but it does in the long term. The uncomfortable becomes comfortable over time. Society with the help of technology is making daily life more convenient, easy, and instant as time goes on. Phones teach kids at an early age to press the screen with their finger and receive instant results. People are getting more and more entitled to feeling good all the time. They grow up thinking these things will make them happy. They feel good... so why wouldn't it?. "Maybe if I get more things that make me feel good I'll be happy". It just leads to an empty, numb, and depressing life because they're so over stimulated with rewards for something they don't really earn.
