Does anyone see or care about my posts or am I just here to help others?

I see, and I care.

It is understandable that you feel ashamed and are confused about this arousal which seems incestuous.

You, however, were not turned on by your sister herself.

(The "weirdly intimate ways of interacting" with your sister in the past may have been a factor here.)

(That may have just been friendly "play" between two young siblings of the opposite sex who are generally curious about "life.")

(Let's leave those "weirdly intimate ways" at that.)

Again, you were not aroused by your sister in person.

A woman's undergarments were what got you so excited.

Those ones just happened to be your sister's underwear.

Any female panties, even ones you saw on a shelf at Wal-Mart, might have triggered you.

Holding panties in your hand would make your brain respond as if you had just pulled them off a woman's body.

You've learned in this how you can be triggered after so long without PMO.

We are healing and growing as men here on NoFap, but we are also getting horny as hell.

I myself must be more aware of how I look at women, and sometimes I catch myself not looking them in the eyes.

(I teach at a university where there are a lot of sights to see.)

(Never would I do anything inappropriate with a co-ed, but I don't want to see myself as a lecherous creep.)

Becoming more aware of ourselves in these and other ways is part of our growth in this process.

While I have your attention, may I tell you that I've had an awful day--largely due to my own limitations, shortcomings, and many other flaws.

Nonetheless, I didn't PMO today. That's all that really matters. In that way, today was another day, and a winning one.

One thing must remain when all else fails: I am a fapstronaut.

 

I don't know how you did it, but you are the top four on my alerts column. I responded to your first post, and then I found that the other 3 look very semilar . . .
As to your title, I can't think of a better way to heal than through helping others. I must have followed you because I liked what you wrote somebody for you to pop up like you did on my alerts. Please do not resent being a blessing to others. We are all in this together and we need people capable of helping. Hang in there, take a deep breath, and enjoy ticking off another day.

 

First of all, good job! When it gets to that point of arousal it's so hard to come back.

Second, I think it is understandable that you feel ashamed about being aroused by your sisters underwear however, I don't think there is any reason for you to feel that way. Like another reply said, you were aroused by the underwear, not by your sister. When you are rebooting your brain is already feeling sexually "starved" because you are depriving it of the sexual release that it has gotten used to receiving. This can make things that normally would not have been very arousing become VERY arousing.

That being said, I do find it interesting that you described past interactions with your sister as "weirdly intimate". I'm not sure exactly what you meant by that and it might be completely irrelevant. You are the only one who could say for sure. However, if you feel like there may be some deeper issues underlying the "weirdly intimate" situations, you should definitely explore them with a professional. As addicts, most of us (myself included) have deeper issues that propel our compulsive behavior.

Bottom line, my verdict is "not guilty", no reason to feel shame, and great job for sticking with your commitment!

 

This way inspiring, i imagined a movie directors voice saying the last line in a deep crisp tone haha

 

@goodnice 2.0

Thanks for reviving this old post.

This is going back almost 3 years.

It's amazing how time flies.


Usually, after a week, a thread that is no longer getting attention falls to the back and is forgotten.

I hope you've found some nuggets of wisdom as you've dug through the archives.


I myself hadn't thought of this one since I wrote it back in October 2016.

It does address an interesting topic and problem.

I noted at the end that Oct. 24 was an "awful day."

Now, I can't remember what made that day so damn bad.

A lot of time has passed since then, I've had many other kinds of bad days, and much has changed for the better.

That one bad day behind that post was of no consequence.

There's no reason to worry about bad days because we forget about them.


You imagine the last line of my post being spoken in a deep, crisp tone.

That's interesting.

One technique of effective reading is to imagine words on the page as they would sound.

I myself wasn't thinking about how that line would sound in speech.

That's something to consider when writing future posts.

Perhaps, I could take up a career as a script writer--for NoFap Productions, whatever that would be.


Cheers!

 

haha ya you should consider it. Great response! How has nofap journey been in the last three years for you

 

Yow your sister got plenties of fishes as her friends. Let her hook you up with some of them....

 

This is a good question for some refection.

I cannot report the stellar progress which many guys here can claim.

The journey has been uneven and often confusing.

There were periods when I gave up, but I've always returned.

At most, I've realized how big of a problem I have with pornography.

And, my resolve to stay away from it for good has become firm.


I see you now have 85 days porn-free.

That is an impressive streak. Congratulations!


Every day, guys write on here about their recent bouts of PMO.

They describe the regret and shame they feel.

I have the same.

The greatest benefit I get from NoFap is in seeing that I am not the only one.

PMO is a solitary act, but when we all bring this problem here, we see none of us is alone.

If it were not for that, I'd feel much worse about myself.


NoFap certainly has given me an understanding of male sexuality.

This is a realistic and honest understanding much different from what I was taught when I was young.

Some guys on NoFap say very strict things, but those always come with that understanding, identification, and empathy.

There is no condemnation here.


The advice here on NoFap is abundant.

Even after my repeated failures over three years, I've offered quite a lot of free advice.

My hope is that I've at least been able to help some others.

 

You should really feel no guilt or shame. Shame and guilt lead to stress and stress leads to relapse. Please break the cycle. Relapses are part of the recovery process, no need to feel bad about them. As long as you learn from them, pick yourself up and continue your recovery journey you're doing the job. Feeling stresses about your past is also pointless. You can't change it, so why stress about it? Wise man, a former addict, once wrote to me "live in the moment kiddo." I didn't understand him back then, now 15 years later I do. You can't change the past, future is uncertain, all you have is here and now. As long as you try to give your best in the present moment, you're doing everything you possibly can and you should be proud not ashamed of yourself. Look at these posts -> Jul 16, 2019 ->Jul 14, 2019

 

This is exactly what I need to hear right now.

There are many things about my past which have been bothering me.

So many memories of bad things I've done go back to my childhood.

My PMO binges over the years are the least of these.


One cannot change the past, and even worse, I can't repair the damage I've done to people.

All that happened a long time ago.

I assume that all those people have forgotten about me.

I should forget too.


Every day gives me a new world with new possibilities to do right.

It is often hard to see that because of the guilt and resulting stress.


This is a great post for me. Thanks!

It will help me to live in the "here and now" today.