Dating game is rigged.

Yup. Lol.
Here’s what I’ve experienced.
On days when I go to the bar and practically ignore women and just focus on having fun and hanging with the guys, girls have actually jumped on me and started making out with me before I even noticed them. It feels bizarre the first few times and then it just feels normal. Like, oh yeah, this is not strange at all. This is just be not giving any fu*** and enjoying the ride and people are drawn to that.

It’s not a sure thing but what I can also say is that on nights where I’ve gone out and been running thoughts about which girl is hot and how I can’t approach her because of this and that and blah blah blah it’s always ended in frustration and fapping. There have been times where I’ve just enjoyed meeting a girl somewhere and after some time just parted ways without trying to get them in bed or even number close them and they’ve ended up spending the night with me after following me out of the bar that night or asking me for my number and coming over another time.

I guess the point I’m trying to make here is that some of the hottest women I’ve had the good fortune to get to know intimately happened by just letting go of all the garbage in my head and enjoying the moment. It’s kind of a mind twist but for the guys who have experienced you understand what I’m talking about. It’s a flow state that you can’t really force. You’ve gotta just let it happen. But you also can’t just sit back and do nothing. It’s hard to explain but once you have the experience you know what it’s like.

but yeah, just do you. Be the best you. You don’t have to be a Greek god. I’m definitely not. You don’t have to be rich. I’m broke af. You don’t have to be popular. I have almost no social network. All you need to do is just be comfortable in your own skin and be decent and willing to have some fun. That’s all!

Cheers

 

The porn lifestyle has taught you that your phone/laptop is your companion and will always give you exactly what you want with zero effort involved. So now when you go out into the real world and discover that female companions are not so easy to acquire, it can feel frustrating.

 

Yes. Exactly!

 

Hello there! I tend to spiral into those same negative thoughts from time to time. I have recently thought about why I spiral in and out of these thoughts. Some months I am the shit and getting laid a lot! Some months I HATE everything and especially the effort it takes to get girls. However, I am giving myself a new approach/mindset and it seems to be working. I call it the long game or gradual process, similar to making gains in the gym.

Here is a picture of my current "meeting girls" plan:


Basically, I go out twice a week. October is all about giving compliments. Each time I went out, for this past week (week 1) I approached a girl and gave them a compliment (ex. Hey, I like your shirt!). Something small and doable. And I met my goal, so I celebrated! Celebration of your small goals is key! Next week (week 2), each time I go out, my goal is to compliment two different girls. And if I follow the progression, by December I will be ready to be very direct with girls with my openers (ex. Hey, I just thought you were cute and wanted to meet you).

In short, interacting with girls is a skill, just like lifting weights. You can't just start benching 250lbs out of no where. You gotta start with the bar (45lbs) and add a little bit of weight each week, and eventually after months or years you'll get to a much heavier weight. Same with girls, don't expect to get laid right away, have a threesome right away, or even find a wife. You gotta start small with the approach, get comfortable with it, and slowly add a little difficulty. Give yourself small goals, and be happy with it. For me, I wanted to be GREAT with girls right away, and I burned out every single time. I realized, I gotta be happy with small results, and go slower, and enjoy the process. I hope you get out of your rut soon, and know that for anything worth being good at, there is no quick fix solution.

 

OP, I know exactly what you fucking mean. When I walk the streets and see hot girls on their phones it kills me inside. I know they’re texting a boyfriend and they’re both happy together. I know I’m a great guy and they’d get on with me, but you can’t communicate that by walking past someone on the way to work. You’d just come off as a weirdo creep. Online dating doesn’t work, it is a business. It makes you just another face to scroll in a sea of thousands, easily dismissed, which again hits your morale. Meeting someone in person is the way to go, but it’s bloody hard. The circumstances need to be right.

 

Sorry to say, Ohio sucks man I avoid going there

 

Would you rather be a woman?

 

What are your thoughts on changing the progression from weekly to daily?

 

What would the right circumstances be, in your opinion?

 

Someone not on their phone, listening to music or rushing someplace. Also in a neutral environment where they don’t feel creeped out, with a genuine conversation starter. I think though my mindset of ‘just fucking do it’, which is how I devoted myself to nofap, will kick in eventually.

 

But there's no love. Haven't you ever heard the phrase "you can't buy happiness?"

If you're talking about physical attractiveness, this is false. Unattractive men can get women, and this has been done many times. The converse of your statement would be more accurate, however. Most men ignore unattractive women completely, since our primary method of choosing a partner is appearance.

 

OMG! Ain’t that the truth.

But I just keep telling myself it’s worth the effort to change from porn to eventually being with a good women who is for real and not a much of pixels on a screen.

 

Great statement. Very true what you share here.

 

It depends on the person I guess. I definitely think it's doable. RSD Tyler has said he would go out 6-7 nights a week to meet girls. I used to do that, but I got burnt out and it wasn't sustainable. For me, right now, it's better to go week by week, and only 2 times out a week. Same thing for lifting weights. Some guys work out 4-5 times a week, others do 2-3 times a week with more rest time in between. So just try it all, and find what's best for you!

 

Fair enough. What are your thoughts on day game?

 

I feel that daygame is harder today than it has been in past years. However, for that reason, I believe it is valuable and important. One of my nights is dedicated to daygame (at the mall or store). Personally, I think it's important to do both nightgame and daygame. The new game, however, is Instagram, which I have yet to really learn.

What is your perspective on all of this?

 

Yeah, things have changed with social media. Day game is good. I haven’t used any dating apps. Instagram can be helpful but I have found it can also be a distraction and weaken social interaction irl. I’ve seen a few guys post that they get a lot of connections on tinder but when it comes to meeting in person they struggle. My guess is that those guys are over using the apps and not putting their time in for real life encounters. It also can be similar to porn in the sense that if you aren’t careful you can get sucked into a bad cycle of just looking at photos. I fell into that with Instagram so I dumped it for now. It just sucked too much of my time and energy and it changed the way I looked at women in real life and how I interacted with them, which really hurt my game.

 

I posted the following tips also in a different thread, but some of you might find it useful, because the mating game is not rigged.
You just need to understand the game and play accordingly.

The most easy method to get a good girlfriend is to be rich, but if you are not rich or gifted with extraordinary powers you will have to
work on yourself. Be honest to yourself and note down all your flaws and all your good attributes.
Then you need to pick a few attributes you are going to work on to make yourself a more suitable mating partner.

I don't know how good looking you are and some people really have been dealt a bad genetic card, but I believe
most men can do a lot by the following personal tips:

1. don't be fat, never be fat.
> eat clean, work out 5 days a week, sleep 8 hours a day. Do intermittent fasting if its too difficult
2. don't have bad teeth
> take good care of your teeth and get it fixed if its a mess
3. get a full-time job
> women don't like unemployed men, so go out and find a job
4. get well dressed and groomed
> throw away all your old shitty cheap ass clothing and go for slimline classic look, but do this after you lost your fat.
5. don't wear glasses, unless you look great with them
> wear lenses or get your eyes lazered
6. Get a good hobby
> find a interesting adult hobby you can be very passionate about instead of being a boring nerd.
hobbies like: Iron man(not marvel dog shit), sculpturing, traveling, salsa dancing, etc.
7. be social person
> If you find it difficult to talk casual with attractive women, then practice being social with everybody.
Do volunteering projects in your local area or get busy with people you met with your new hobby.
8. Read news papers and books
> be aware of the world and the situation around you. This makes you able to talk about almost every actual subject
9. surround yourself with good people
> it's better to have zero friends than to hang around loser buddies that will only drag you down, because misery always loves company.
10. Stop watching porn and stop masturbation
> this is an obvious step considering this forum, but its an important one.
11. Be a positive person
> Women don't like men who complain a lot, so be the sunlight in their life and cherish every living moment of life.
12. Stop looking to a screen all day
> Try to withold yourself from a screen(pc,phone,tv) as much as possible. This means less/no Facebook, whatsapp, instagram, nofap (forum), gaming, netflix, etc.
13. Travel alot
> Don't be afraid or ashamed to travel solo. Go see the world it will only enrich you
14. Seek real female help
> find a friend-zoned women and ask her for tips into making you a more suitable mating partner.

Please note that I don't want to offend anybody with these somewhat harsh points. Just read it and take what you can use. We can't all be James Bond perfect guys, but at least you can thrive to be a better version of you compared to yesterday. Of course women themselves are also suffering from a shitload of flaws, but you can only fix your own flaws, so go fix it instead of complaining and blaming it on the girls for rejecting you.

You can always DM me for personal help if needed.
Cheers.

 

Really good list there, it’s all true.

 

This is great because a lot of guys expect girls to show up just because they stop jerking off for three days. They need to stop pmo so they can focus on this list. Great advice. Not harsh. Just truth.