Marriage and kids is overrated

Thanks! Ideally, I really don't want to have kids and have to have someone babysit them all day while I'm at work or something. Unless that someone is my parents, I'm not comfortable with that. So right now, I just can't see how we are going to ever have kids if we both have to work. Which honestly sucks. It's one thing to choose that you don't want kids, and it's another to feel like it's not even an option, because you have no choice.

We're trying to figure out other career options, but it's hard. Partially because we both really like our current lives/jobs, and partially because we have no idea what we could even do that would be more profitable. Especially living on only one income. I just don't understand how people even do that these days.

And then you have all the older generation people whining about kids these days not having families. And it's like dude, it's wayyyy harder these days to have a family if you want one of the parents to be able to stay home with the kids.

Idk, I'm just tired of it. I've gotten all the judgements, from tons of different people. Both when I didn't want to have kids, and now. I feel like anything surrounding parenting is one I the most judged aspects of life. It's like no matter what you do, you have people jumping down your throat to yell at you for being a terrible person.

 

No judgment at all! Much respect for you and your husband to give it great thought. Hopefully you can figure it all out and get answers you need.

 

No question it turns your life financially from a somewhat stressed life to a very stressed life. As he said, not for everyone. Many years where I couldn’t figure out how things could possibly work out. Now, over the finish line, and I am grateful for all the work and the luck that got me here. No judgment on someone who doesn’t feel positioned to take the leap of faith.

 

Philosophically & bilogically speaking. Its sorta your goal in life to procreate and have kids subconsciously. To keep the human race going, keep true to your family name, have purpose, etc.

 

I wouldn’t mind being married and having kids. I was with a woman who had a kid and was able to get an idea of what that life was like for about 5 years. I can say the experience taught me there isn’t such a thing as being “financially ready” for kids unless you’re a lotto winner who’s invested wisely. At the end of the day you realize it was never about how much money you could give them but about how much time you could give them. Kids won’t remember your six figure income, they will remember how much time you spent with them.

 

Well being 25 and thinking of kids is a bit early in my opinion.

If you do not want kids or get married it is your choise but often people do not want to get old by themselves or not leave anything after them. It can be as simple as continuing the bloodline.

Marriage on another hand is looked up on as financial gain often these days but holding a man or a woman in non a marriage for many many years is not good in my opinion. Might get quite lonely without having a partner or kids when you are 40+.

 

I have decided to go MGTOW not too long ago. I feel like I can't get any satisfaction from women and sex. I view sex and the pursuit of women as pointless, since women do not come in any of the things I find most important in life (health, purpose, peace, good education, fulfilling job and having a motorbike). To me, women and relationships seem like an immense waste of time. Instead of visiting her parents, I could've written another program in C#. Instead of meeting her friends who I don't care at all for, I could've been in the gym. Instead of wasting my semen and vital life energy to mindless pleasure, I could've enjoyed the feeling of being full of life.

Please note that this is MY perfection of the world and how I function in it. We are all so different, so am I, and since about a month, I feel like I've become true MGTOW. Some men, like me, are either cursed or blessed by feeling distanced from women. Whichever is the case, I will enjoy the freedom. Who knows, perhaps when I'm 50 and childless, I will feel guilt,. regret and pain, I can't predict anything. But I know that right now, I really need NoFap and many months of being alone. That will shed some light on my soul

 

Well see how it goes those are some good values but you might get quite lonely and those things might not fulfill you as much as you think and you begin seeking something other. Also you are not taking in account falling in real love with someone.

 

I mean, that can't possibly be true for everybody though. Some people aren't even capable of having children. You can find purpose in life without being a parent.

 

It is not everyone’s purpose in life to procreate, our purpose in life is whatever fulfills us. Not selfishly fulfills us per se but ennobles our existence. It’s hard to believe Mother Theresa (and I’m an atheist) didn’t fulfill her purpose. Of course, those who decide not to have children will often on some level regret that, because we always regret not having the thing that we chose to give up for something else. That’s what choosing is, to give something up for something else. But to say that failing to have children means you lived a life without purpose is a horrible and it seems to me false judgment.

 

W

Why don't you give it a try, you never know
.

 

I’ve know men who had their first child in their late 50’s. So yes it very well could happen to me.

But first I need to find a woman that will give me the time of day! LOL! I’m definitely not a chick magnet.

 

Imagine of a chick saying the same and just be natural and watch the magic happen , your kid may be the one to inspire the next generation you never know.. Success

 

How can you know it's overrated when you don't have it?

 

One day I want to meet someone to share my life. If that happens now or later, who knows? I'm not really doing anything to make it happen right now. But these last few years I have been busy getting myself in the right position so to speak. But lately I've been feeling all sorts of things. I want to meet someone and I will soon get where I want to be to make that possible. I don't really want to get married, being together is enough for me. However getting married might change. But the one thing I have decided upon, and where I won't change my mind is kids. I may have wanted them once, but not now.

 

This is absolutely true.

 

Does anime waifu count?

 

I'm 40, been with my wife half my life, have two kids. I didn't really want kids or marriage, it all just kind of happened to me, but still I have no regrets. It's extremely difficult, especially as someone that really values at least some occasional alone time. One of the most frustrating aspects of it for me is not being all that great at it. I mean, I'm there, I share in the tasks of life, I give them hugs and hang out with them, but I always have this feeling like I should be so much more - I should be this inspirational individual who leads his family and is an excellent example to everyone.

Ultimately though, its the challenges in life that lead to growth. Marriage and kids are great challenges, testing you all the time. It's hard to share your life with other people. In my experience the rewards can be immense, but they come and go and the responsibility is always there.

 

I have a long way to go but. I don't want to be responsible for my kids death.

 

You should only get married if it enhances your life and as far as children responsible breeding must be done . Temperament faimly history health and general well being must be considered on both sides. So much care is given to breeding live stock why shouldn't humans. The world is overpopulated as it is if we don't do something about it Nature will without judgment .